Broken any good bones lately?

Did I mention the toe?

Ah ... thought not ... I was trying to ignore and cancel out the waves of guilt, that's why!

So, here goes ~

I went out last Tuesday night to play poker and whilst I was out Simon kicked the bedstead on the way to bed in the dark. Apparently much swearing took place at this time along with treatment with a bag of frozen peas and 2 paracetemol and then ... he went to sleep.

The next morning his foot did look balloonesque in proportion, much hobbling was taking place and I did attempt to look concerned * and sympathetic ** but failed miserably. Luckily he'd booked a couple of days off *** so spent Wednesday with his foot up on the sofa. BUT he insisted on going to Tesco on Wednesday evening do I assumed that things were getting back to normal.

He had to have the car on Thursday to deliver some bits and pieces to friends of my parents who were passing on their way back to France and as he was bitching and moaning I did the "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, well if it's still painful you'd better go up to A & E, that way you'll know nothing's wrong and you'll feel better as it's probably all in your mind!"

Ooops! *waves of Jo's guilt washes over t'Internet* Sorry!! Would some chocolate cake make it better?

BROKEN TOES!!

* Having been brought up by my mother I'm not good at concern ... she used to have trouble not laughing at us when we got hurt as kids.

** Having a recovering alcoholic father I'm used to the quote about sympathy coming between shit and syphilis in the dictionary and they're no use to us either!

*** Jealous as I'd just had a fortnight - teaching has to have some perks!

Unconscious mutterings #274

I say ... and you think ... ?

Thug :: violence
Slurp :: drink
Alley :: smelly
Sweater vest :: jumper
Targeted :: bull's eye
Snazzy :: tank-top (God only knows where that came from??)
Oy! :: shout
Jury duty :: guilty
Low fat :: cottage cheese
Responsibility :: mine, yours, everyone

Yet again more notes to self

Did I say that being off on holiday would make me a better blogger? Did I? NOTE TO SELF ... Don't make comments like that - it's all lies! And you will be found out especially by pesky duck lovers!

The class teddies are not being looked after by the three year olds like they would be by you. NOTE TO SELF ... do this more often.

Having done the pre-trip visit, the class visit to the zoo will be fine. NOTE TO SELF ... Don't laugh at bonking, pooh-smelling gorillas or the elephant willies - the children (and their parents) will catch you out!!

Unconscious mutterings #269 and #270 - a double whammy

I say ... and you think ...

Nutritious :: Snack
Graduate :: Dustin Hoffman
Tonight! :: Sunday!
Located :: Where?
Weapon :: Lethal
Jumper :: Knitted
Collectibles :: Disney
Dennis :: Quaid
Hostile :: fight
Vivid :: Coloured

Do some Unconscious Mutterings of your very own.

Last week's Unconscious Mutterings were nowhere to be seen for me - couldn't get on the site all week long??? Was beginning to get worried that I'd have to find another "fix" but thank goodness things seem to be back to normal (me, normal?) So, better late than never, here they are ...

I say ... and you think ... ?

Stuffed :: Mushrooms
Gills :: Fish
Distance :: From a distance
Panties :: Knickers
Checkered :: Flag
Fill in :: Gaps
Taunting :: Bullies
Diner :: Ed's
Pizza :: Hawaiian
Best friend :: Ruth

PhotoHunt 104 :: Glass

themes · home · participants



Better late than never, my take on the theme glass. Yes, it was a very good night!!

Over my "speech" - yay. Very busy week but I have got up AND it's the last get-up before the spring holiday - hurrah!!! I hope to become a betterer blogger next week ;o) And the week after ... that's right 2 weeks off ;o)

The female of the species is more deadly than the male

A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With super-human strength born of pure fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out of the back door, across the patio and into his shed; there she trapped his 'manhood' firmly in a vice which she secured. She removed the handle of the vice and picked up a hack saw from the work bench.

By this point her husband was terrified, and started screaming. "Stop! Stop!" he shouted, "you're not going to cut it off, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye put the saw in her husband's hand and calmly said "no, I'm going to set your shed on fire. You do whatever you have to do."

Murder? Moi?

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her nursery children put on his wellies. Even with her pulling, and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.” She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, “they’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.” Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left, to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, “Now, where are your mittens?” He said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.”

Her trial starts next month!

PhotoHunt 103 :: High

themes · home · participants

I have never made it all the way up that moutain but I have been all the way up to Andorra. That road you can see in the picture led high up into the Pyrenees.

This week I will mostly be ...

Monday - day off, thankyou Bank Holiday organiser man
Tuesday - school starts, lunchtime meeting to update/re-write school self-evaluation form, parent's evening consultations until 6.15 ... best friend comes to dinner (bright point!)
Wednesday - school, playground duty before school, reflection duty (detention) at lunchtime, parent's evening consultation appointments until 5.50, Governing Body meeting until 8.30, home to die
Thursday - school, parent's consultation appointments until 7pm (?????) 7-bloody-pm ... don't give me the flaming "oh I don't get home from London until then" shite-sob story!
Friday - mobile farm visit for 132 3-5 year olds, meeting before the school's improvement partner (read as v important Education Authority big-wig) comes to "inspect" us next week, followed by 2 more parent consultation appointments **UPDATE** ... will try to squeeze in dinner out with spouse.
Saturday and Sunday - sleep and remain too tired to converse with darling very unhappy spouse who thought he was marrying someone who had a job that included short working days, long holidays, a huge salary and no stress.

Oh yes, go into teaching if you too are looking for that short working days+long holidays+huge salary+no stress combo - NOT!

6 word memoir meme

I was tagged by Andy from Destination AndyLand to complete the 6 word memoir meme begun in February by bookbabie. The rules are as follows.

1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4 .Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

I could have gone with any number of these including ...
Scurrying madly trying to catch up ... or
Much too late to say no ... or
Teaching and hoping for awesome wonder ... or very up to date
No Easter eggs but not pouting ... or
Waiting patiently for the next meal ... but I finally decided on ...

Dreaming of a future French happiness

I am tagging ... Absolute Vanilla because as she is managing between 3000 and 5000 a day at the moment another six should be breezy; Fizzy because a microwaveable duck should be worth a word or six; Sophie because then we might get a memoir "en Francais et Anglais"; Naomi because it would be an enormous challenge for her to manage a 66 word memoir and get it all in nevermind a 6 word one!! And finally Fat Boy Fat - because he's just bloody funny and I need to draw his attention to the fact that there are 3 blokes in those photos in vertical stripes - chwarae teg nawr!!

What's cooking?

I cooked lamb shanks last Saturday night and my god they were delicious - browned off in the pan and then slowly braised for 5, yeah 5 hours; with carrots, onions, celery, fresh herbs and a mixture of red wine and stock. They were so tender, they fell apart and the only mistake (not mine I might add) was that we ate them with new Charlotte potatoes and not a big, oozy pile of buttery artery-clogging mash. Wouldn't you like a smell-a-vision version of t'Internet right now? It would do you no good as ... and I should be shot for this ... I didn't take any photos. Yep, no photos twice in one month, no photos in Wales, no photos of the best braised lamb shanks in the world ever.

So, on Friday afternoon when I decided to cook a curry from scratch I thought what a better way to make up for the lamb shanks than to share the tips imparted to me by Shisho on how to do curry without lining the pockets of Messrs Sharwood and Patak.

So, I started with 2 thinly sliced red onions which I fried in a little vegetable oil with 2 spoons (they are very tiny spoons in my masala dabba) of cumin seeds. Then I added some turmeric and some ground ginger & cumin - a spoon of each. And then a little more turmeric because it didn't look like there was enough. I let this all continue to fry for a couple more minutes over a low heat before adding some minced garlic and fresh ginger and then gave that a few more minutes.

This curry was always going to be just vegetables, so I chopped up a mixture of potatoes and green beans, opened a can each of chick peas and tomatoes and got mixing.

In went the potatoes, green beans and 2 spoons each of smoked paprika and garam masala.

And then it was the turn of the chick peas - drained and rinsed - plus the tinned tomatoes (and a tinful of water), 2 tsps of dried chilli (as the one in the fridge was more than a little past it's best), salt and pepper, the heat was turned up, the whole lot came to the "boil" and then it was turned down and left to simmer for 30 mins.

Meanwhile, the brandy and lemonade that you can see in the first picture way up there got drunk and another was poured. Rice was made - basmati rice, a little more cumin seed, some salt, the odd vegetable or two and some vegetable oil; fried for a minute or two before boiling water water was added and a tightly fitting lid that "is NOT removed to check/peak/stir for a full 10 minutes" * ... perfect vegetable rice.

So finally, after adjusting the seasoning with a little sprinkling of S&P, Simon and I settled down to a gorgeous plate of potato, chick pea and green bean curry with rice and a spoonful of tamarind, chilli yoghurt ... the picture of the finished dish, oh ... umm ... oops!

* Shisho is always very forceful about this!