Broken any good bones lately?

Did I mention the toe?

Ah ... thought not ... I was trying to ignore and cancel out the waves of guilt, that's why!

So, here goes ~

I went out last Tuesday night to play poker and whilst I was out Simon kicked the bedstead on the way to bed in the dark. Apparently much swearing took place at this time along with treatment with a bag of frozen peas and 2 paracetemol and then ... he went to sleep.

The next morning his foot did look balloonesque in proportion, much hobbling was taking place and I did attempt to look concerned * and sympathetic ** but failed miserably. Luckily he'd booked a couple of days off *** so spent Wednesday with his foot up on the sofa. BUT he insisted on going to Tesco on Wednesday evening do I assumed that things were getting back to normal.

He had to have the car on Thursday to deliver some bits and pieces to friends of my parents who were passing on their way back to France and as he was bitching and moaning I did the "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, well if it's still painful you'd better go up to A & E, that way you'll know nothing's wrong and you'll feel better as it's probably all in your mind!"

Ooops! *waves of Jo's guilt washes over t'Internet* Sorry!! Would some chocolate cake make it better?

BROKEN TOES!!

* Having been brought up by my mother I'm not good at concern ... she used to have trouble not laughing at us when we got hurt as kids.

** Having a recovering alcoholic father I'm used to the quote about sympathy coming between shit and syphilis in the dictionary and they're no use to us either!

*** Jealous as I'd just had a fortnight - teaching has to have some perks!

Unconscious mutterings #274

I say ... and you think ... ?

Thug :: violence
Slurp :: drink
Alley :: smelly
Sweater vest :: jumper
Targeted :: bull's eye
Snazzy :: tank-top (God only knows where that came from??)
Oy! :: shout
Jury duty :: guilty
Low fat :: cottage cheese
Responsibility :: mine, yours, everyone

Yet again more notes to self

Did I say that being off on holiday would make me a better blogger? Did I? NOTE TO SELF ... Don't make comments like that - it's all lies! And you will be found out especially by pesky duck lovers!

The class teddies are not being looked after by the three year olds like they would be by you. NOTE TO SELF ... do this more often.

Having done the pre-trip visit, the class visit to the zoo will be fine. NOTE TO SELF ... Don't laugh at bonking, pooh-smelling gorillas or the elephant willies - the children (and their parents) will catch you out!!

Unconscious mutterings #269 and #270 - a double whammy

I say ... and you think ...

Nutritious :: Snack
Graduate :: Dustin Hoffman
Tonight! :: Sunday!
Located :: Where?
Weapon :: Lethal
Jumper :: Knitted
Collectibles :: Disney
Dennis :: Quaid
Hostile :: fight
Vivid :: Coloured

Do some Unconscious Mutterings of your very own.

Last week's Unconscious Mutterings were nowhere to be seen for me - couldn't get on the site all week long??? Was beginning to get worried that I'd have to find another "fix" but thank goodness things seem to be back to normal (me, normal?) So, better late than never, here they are ...

I say ... and you think ... ?

Stuffed :: Mushrooms
Gills :: Fish
Distance :: From a distance
Panties :: Knickers
Checkered :: Flag
Fill in :: Gaps
Taunting :: Bullies
Diner :: Ed's
Pizza :: Hawaiian
Best friend :: Ruth

PhotoHunt 104 :: Glass

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Better late than never, my take on the theme glass. Yes, it was a very good night!!

Over my "speech" - yay. Very busy week but I have got up AND it's the last get-up before the spring holiday - hurrah!!! I hope to become a betterer blogger next week ;o) And the week after ... that's right 2 weeks off ;o)

The female of the species is more deadly than the male

A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With super-human strength born of pure fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out of the back door, across the patio and into his shed; there she trapped his 'manhood' firmly in a vice which she secured. She removed the handle of the vice and picked up a hack saw from the work bench.

By this point her husband was terrified, and started screaming. "Stop! Stop!" he shouted, "you're not going to cut it off, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye put the saw in her husband's hand and calmly said "no, I'm going to set your shed on fire. You do whatever you have to do."