Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The things kids say #7

K ~ And Mary and Joseph got to Bethlehem and 'ventually (I've been working on "when did that happen" words) they found a place to stay. And Mary had her special baby Jesus and she wrapped him in wobbling clothes and ...

Me ~ Swaddling clothes!

K ~ *huffs* You've got to let me finish the story Mrs L! Yeh, wobbling clothes and she put him in the bowl bed.

Me ~ Bowl bed?

K ~ Yeh the cattle's bowl.

A Christmas spirit list

In response to Fizzy's post about the love that should be associated (and not the January credit card bills) with giving gifts at Christmas. Gifts that are "truly love" in packages; so, I thought about the things that I would like ...

My letter to Santa

p.s. I forgot to mention, I'd like things to be "hunky-dory" with my brother rather than moody and silent and did I mention I'm going to be in France and not Gillingham ... so please don't forget me!

So go-on what would "truly love" present would you give this Christmas time?
Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Hope today brings you ...

Good luck Fizzy! a four leaf clover or two from me to you
... everything you could wish for Fizzy!! Thinking of you today :o)

Monday, November 28, 2005

Guilty pleasures!

As seen on the back page of Closer, answered cheesily (Do you have a strange celebrity crush? I've only got one crush and that's Roddy. ~ PLEASE!! Have you not met George or Patrick or even Nick in your celebrity life?) by the very pregnant Penny Lancaster ....

If you're on your own what do you secretly watch on the telly? Re-runs of the Waltons!

What can't you help snacking on, eventhough you know you shouldn't? Nuts ~ you name it pistachios (or
spicios if you're a princess), cashews, almonds, brazils, cobnuts (when they're green) and #1 choice ... give it up ladies and gentlemen for macadamias!!

Do you have a strange celebrity crush? I DON'T GET IT EITHER and why am I admitting to you lot??

What's your grubbiest habit? I pick / bite the skin around my fingernails ... people have been trying to cure me for years!

Where's the tackiest place you've been on holiday and loved? Ipsos, Corfu .... came back with a "nightlife" tan!!

What's the most shameful CD in your collection? Loved George!

colour by numbers

What item in your wardrobe would really shock the fashion police? I have a pair of cycling shorts hidden at the back that I paint in ... foul!

What's the cheesiest film you own? Grease II ~ "I want a coo-oo-oo-ool rider!"

What did you buy in your last spending spree? New knickers, 3 tops for work, some nail varnish remover and a photo frame.

What's your most humiliating experience?

So many experiences, so little time to type them before I go to work ... let me leave you with this picture; aged 16 ... summer time ~ June or July, beautiful cotton skirt ~ one of those big swirly ones. I got off the bus from town with my friends Vanessa and a gust of wind blew the skirt over my head ... I was outside a pub and the beer garden was packed with men!

So come-on, share with me ... tell me one of your guilty pleasures!

UPDATE :: And just for ms.mac, Magpie and Kiwi ....

piers morgan vinnie jones

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Unconscious mutterings #147


I say ... and you think ...?

Stuffed :: Christmas dinner ... coming soon!
Armstrong :: Lance
Bruise :: knock
Content :: with my lot in life!
Musical :: chairs
Assistance :: helping
Scrambling :: eggs
Battle :: of Hastings
Extended :: holidays ~ yes please!
Discount :: store

Thank god for that!

... because Steve in work (from Queensland) has been giving me hell all week long!

Saturday, November 26, 2005


.. no bazaar! Santa, tombolas, raffles. Cold, snow, tired! See you tomorrow!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I got one Fizzy!!!

Comment moderation word ~ a real word!! Uakari ... I thought it looked possible and it's a real word!!

Uakari ~ medium-sized tree-dwelling monkey of the Amazon basin; only New World monkey with a short tail

Off to Google a picture now!!


... the daily grind, wake up, go to work, come home, eat, go back to bed! It's only NOvember and already I see a pattern forming. I hate the winter and it's not really started (November on my children's calendar officially being autumn) I know the winter clothes / cold weather and my "let's kick the shit out my teacher and classmates" child from hell* aren't helping! And I suppose actually at the moment he is the real reason for my "bleugh" feeling and this post.

Yesterday, a large percentage of the senior management team (3 adults all earning upwards of £40,000** a year) spent the afternoon pacifying my little piglet. 3 adults for one little boy, 1 afternoons worth of that £120,000 (I'm far enough along the autisitic spectrum to know that's about £500) ... what an incredible waste of resource. Why didn't they just call his mother in to collect him? After all he was kicking shit out of everything / everybody in sight!

All day long he was foul to everyone, he swore, screamed, kicked, punch, spat and generally wrecked my room; and trust me by 1.20 I really had had enough! By the time I eventually got home (after an hour and a half of governing body chit chat) ~ 7.45 ... I just slumped on the sofa, allowed brandy and coke to be poured down my neck and shovelled food into my mouth! So thanks ladies, for taking him for the afternoon (we all really needed the break) but answer me this ... why do we have to accept this child into our classroom?

And the joy of it is ... in an hour I get to drive back up the motorway and start all over again!!

* Yes, I know I am talking about someone's "little darling, precious poppet" BUT I have 25 other poppets to take into consideration.
** Just for Lisa, because I know this makes her chuckle ~ €58,332 or US$68,912 or CAD$80,804 or NZD$99,208 or even AUD$93,296

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The things kids say #6

We have just started the Christmas story in RE ... I know it's quite early but we finish school on the 16th of December (hurrah!) and I like to do it in bits ... you know building up the "excitement" ... for the parents to deal with!!

So, I started with Gabriel's visit, told them about the special baby, marriage to Joseph and going to Bethlehem for the census / taxation. Simple ... eh? Think again!

Me ~ *checking to see if she had met her learning intenetion* So why did Mary and Joseph go to Bethlehem?
B ~ To be counted, but I don't think I would have travelled that far if I was pregnant!

Me ~ So how did Mary know she was going to have a "special" baby?
D ~ 'cause it's in the bible isn't it! He was gonna be famous that Jesus!

J ~ Why did they have to go all the way to Bethlehem to be counted? There were only two of them! Look *pokes picture in bible* one, two! *rolls eyes at me* Those Romans weren't good at counting where they?

K ~ So Mary was pregnant and she wasn't married?
Me ~ That's right!
K ~ Neither was my aunty Susan and my nana called her a slapper!
Me ~ *gulp*

For your information ... I am not going to apply for the RE co-ordinator's job!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Unconscious mutterings #146

sunday mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Heads up :: so tails must be down.
Kicker :: Rugby ... another kicking yesterday! Well done SA!
Aggressive :: angry
Getting ugly :: plastic surgery ~ trust me I don't mean "Getting ugly? Get plastic surgery!" I'm more along the lines of "You've had a lot of plastic surgery ... it's getting ugly!"
To be continued :: Grrrr! This makes me so cross, leaving you dangling on the very edge of your seat! Aaagh!
Twist :: and shout
Form :: another form to fill in.
On the road :: got a book, water, music and sweeties?!?
Import :: CDs
Flowers :: lilies please darling, you know the ones I love *flutters eyelashes*

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I'm not in for the rest of the day ...

I am off to see the new HP film ... hurrah! And then after we are going to have lunch out in a new wholefood restaurant because one of the group is a veggie! Just to state the point right now "I will not eat tofu!"

*UPDATE* Film is wow! Fantastic special effects ~ loved it! It's long and I wouldn't take little ones to see it ... it does have a 12A rating and there were tiny tots there (you know 4/5/6 years old!) But if you get a chance ... go on, go on, go on! In other news ... the veggie caved in and we went to TGI Friday's, so I got to eat shrimp - yahoo!

Thursday ... blogged!

As you'll know if you read below ... no I meant down there about 3 posts ago ... on Thursday I went to Doncaster and in my "ever hopeful way" I mentioned to the blogosphere and a couple of specific people that I would be there!! Well I can now happily report that I spent a fab "2 hot chocolates, can't shut us up" evening with Fizzy in the Pumpkin Cafe at Doncaster station.

Surroundings ... warm and cosy, but I really don't think it would have mattered. I felt like I've known her for years! AND I have to hold my hand up in a "guilty as charged way" about her voice because we "jawed and jawed and jawed" (so if it wasn't fast disappearing before hand it had by the time she caught her train back to Leeds) and I had a fantastic time and then I smiled and chuckled all the way back to the hotel because I know that I had made a really good friend ... so thankyou Fizzy and thankyou Blogger!! "It were brill!" And I can happily report that we will be getting together again as Simon and I will be calling in on our way up to Northumberland to see my BIL.
p.s. I got a present ... look out for them this week in posts.
p.p.s Went to an incredible school on Friday ... I need to share some of the pictures (see below) as I was totally blown away ... I want to work at this school!!
Embroidery African art Painting Cross phase display
click on a thumbnail for a larger image

p.p.p.s. Lisa, that's ok ... I knew it was the jealousy talking! Or should I say "Ne, ne, ne, ne ne!!"
p.p.p. bugger it, you know what I mean ~ did I mention we laughed and laughed and then laughed more!

Graphically meme'd

Borrowed from Cheryl, her husband played first ... a picture meme

This is how you play :: do a Google image search of the following and post the first (or favorite if you want to cheat, but label it so) result for each::

The name of the town where you were born

The name of the town where you live now
Your name
Your grandmother’s name (just pick one)
Your favorite food
Your favorite drink
Your favorite song
Your favorite smell

The town where I was born ~ Morriston

The town where I live now ~ Gillingham, actually this is Priestfield ... I live down the road!

My name ~ Jo


My name ~ Joanne

It should be noted this is not an early HNT ... neither of these is me :o)

My grandmother's name ~ Ethel

My favourite food ~ Sausage and mash, actually it's my favourite dinner

My favourite drink ~ Banrock Station Sparkling Shiraz

Oh this one was hard ... so many songs ... ok, this one

My favourite song ~ My Sharona

Don't ask ... I don't know what they're doing in the custard (I just googled Vanilla) ... yes I would have enjoyed it way back when!

My favourite smell ~ Vanilla

Thursday, November 17, 2005


My search engine of choice is Google and I have to say I love their different holiday logos; some of my favourites have included :-

St Paddy's day 2005

Earth Day 2004

Birthday of Gaston Julia (I don't know what he did BUT I love the G in Google ... actually I could just Google him ... could I not?)

La fete de la Musique from 2002

But I have to say I love the current one ... by Lisa Waiwaiina aged 11 ... as part of the
Doodle 4 Google competition.

I feel the need to do my own *walks off to find pencils and paper*
What about you? What's your favourite?

*update* The utterly fabulous ms.mac found me this!

Chez le Laquet google

Thankyou so much Stella-Bella!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

In case you were interested!

Last Friday we made poppies and learnt about WW1 and the battlefields of France. We've added our lovely writing since the photo was taken!

... today we were doing the 2 times table! With mittens (not gloves ... because that would have been the 5x table!)

An image for every occasion me! Or else I've been so desperate to finish displays I HAD to show them to you?!? What do you reckon?

I'm off on a jolly!

The headteacher called me to one side yesterday to ask if I would do something for her;

HT ~ Jo, how would you feel about going to Doncaster?

Me ~ Doncaster? *madly thinking where the hell is Doncaster* Why?

HT ~ There's a wonderful school there that I want you to go and see!

Me ~ *shit, she wants me to go and see another school, she thinks I'm crap, she's sending me 211 miles to see a school, she must think I'm really, really bad ... how has she seen through my disguise? ... she only just got here, oh god, I'm finished!* Why do you want me to go to Doncaster?

HT ~ I know you won't panic about going up there and you'll come back with some really good ideas to share with the rest of the team, ideas about how we can change.

Me ~ oh, *phew* ok! Yes, sure, I can do that!

So, fellow bloggers ... I'm off on a jolly. I am travelling to Doncaster on Thursday, staying in a hotel and coming back on Friday after seeing this super school! Now, what I want to know is Fizzy and Magpie ... will I be close enough to wave?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

An update to "Wahey, it's Saturday!"

My visit to "spend quality time with my best friend in Brighton" was fab ... good food, good company ... it (Brighton that is) even went as far as to provide good weather! I have loads of wonderful photos to show you ... well, I would have loads of wornderful photos if I had remembered to take the camera with me!!

I arrived at Kev's and was told to be very quiet as Ahmed was asleep ... Me & quiet? Not a match made in heaven, unless there's an alternative heaven where everything is noisy and lots of fun! Ahmed works in a hotel as a night bar-man (to fund his MBA) and had kicked the last wedding guests off to bed at 6am ... so, I crept into the kitchen!! Kev had shopped and then cooked "with bells on." Meze ... I love being able to graze; we had houmous (home-made), pita, home "flavoured" olives and peppers, salad and piquant red peppers stuffed with feta and herbs! WOW! And we talked and ate; ate and talked! Fab! And then we had our main course ... mushrooms stuffed with red pesto and mozzerella, rosti and roasted vegetables with a balsmic and tomato reduction. Damn me and my inability to take a camera with me when I go out. Actually damn me and my inability to invent a taste-a-meter then you all could share!!

Since Ahmed was still asleep, Kev and I visited the Devil's Dyke a deux ... damn me and my NO, I'm not doing that again .... look at these pictures instead. They have their own site here - you need to register BUT it's worth it!! You can even see Winnie the Pooh's wood from there!! A quick detour past Tesco's (for vanilla crowns for Ahmed) and Kev and I were back home for 4 o'clock. Time for tea ~ Ahmed woke for baked bananas with chocolate sauce ~ strange that :o) don't you think!!!

The fab news is that Kev has been given his "new area" (new job) AND ... he's going to be working here, near me ALL of the time! So I will get to see more of two of my favourite men ... let's hope one of them will remember to remind me to carry my camera more often!

Men and women ... the differences!

Sent to me as an email (I chuckled and chuckled) by the wonderful Keri ... how many ring true with you?

the difference between men and women

If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. Actually I play poker with "tart" and "slapper!"
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and no-one will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. No need, I'm very good at mental maths but I only ever split the bill equally; can't cope with the "I didn't have a starter but I had a side of green beans" conversations!

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. *blushes guiltily*

A man has six items in his bathroom :: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Isn't this an international law, honoured (and rigourously enforced) by the Geneva Convention?

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. Some women kick cats too!

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. No, never worried ... Simon was the worrier!
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. I am still looking ... the current "Mr Collins" knows this fact!

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. I did?

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. "Simon, they've written about you on the Internet!"

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night. This woman believes some of the men out there should belooking in a mirror more carefully!!

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. "Dad, they've written about you on the Internet!"

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

What a woman says :: C'mon ... This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah,blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.

So come on; ladies / gentlemen ... comments please!

To work ...

... or not to work? Decisions, decisions ... backgammon it is then!

Fancy a game?

Unconscious mutterings #145

sunday mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Mighty :: Mouse
Gotta find time to ... :: have my hair cut, it's supposed to be every 6 weeks ... which I don't think is really necessary. I last had my hair cut in July ... 16+ weeks is leaving it a little too long!!
Statistic :: Vital statistics ... let's not even bother asking ... let's just realise that even if I was skinny (as ms.mac says "it's the points baby!") I'd still be more "hour~glass Marilyn" than anything else!!

Midnight :: Cowboy, love the film, love the song, cry at the end etc.
Thaw :: melt
Hips :: Elvis
Reader :: me, pry the book out of my hand! Go on try!
Related :: family
Brilliant :: Little Britain ... I cry!
Posture :: Winnie the Pooh ~ I think I probably need to explain this a little later on!!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Wahey!! It's Saturday!

I'm off to Brighton to have lunch with my bestest friend in the whole wild world. Be good whilst I'm away ... don't let anything to exciting happen.

Isn't it fabulous having a "day off"? If today was a day off and the "world was your lobster*" ... what would you do, where would you go, with who? Mwahs! Back tomorrow!

* a phrase from the man himself!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Full house

King David Athena aka Pallas aka Minerva Hogier the Dane palladin of Charlemagne
Cesar / Julius Caesar Rachel Hector of Troy sometimes Roland of France
Alexander the Great Regina Lancelot
Charles / Charlemagne Judith La Hire (Etienne) de Vignoles
Just hover over them to find out their "real" names!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Interesting facts ....

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick any thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour :: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter :: Tom Sawyer.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase: "Goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale was traditionally ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it..... I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow


Thanks to Chasing Daisy I am now addicted ... don't click this link unless you want to become a member of G-t-gA (Guess-the-google Anonymous) with me!!

*UPDATE* I mean it don't click that link it really is addicitive!!

Such a waste!

Is it me or is this fabulous! I know there are people out there who will not agree ... but ~ phooar!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Yesterday ...

... nothing really happened big enough to blog. Well, what I meant to say was nothing really big enough to blog about happenned. My grammar obviously didn't improve at anytime during the day, or my spelling for that matter. *Note to self make up mnemonic to remember how to spell happenned, or download that free Blogger for Word add-on!!* So here's my itty-bitty-chunky Tuesday

Went to the hospital for overdue (12th September) blood tests. You have to get a "cheese" ticket to have your blood tested in Medway ... you know the kind I mean ... like you get @ the deli counter so you get served in the right order. I had to have a fasting lipids test so hadn't eaten/drunk for 14 hours *starving* and arrived @ 9am, collected ticket number 68, with 37 people in front of me! The child in the far corner of the room who was eating a curly wurly still does not know how lucky he is/was!!

On entering the room for my blood test I felt like Grace in the Hospital Show ~ the woman taking blood looked to be about 12!! Oh my god! They trust her with needles? And why do they need 5 bottles? And why am I such a slow bleeder? And can't somebody get them to ask more interesting questions to take your mind off it when they change the bottles?
Off to the doctor's then ... good news is the blood pressure is down a little bit. She was surprised it wasn't down more after 2 months on diuretics. She said "have you had a stressful morning?" I didn't think I should get into it!!
Then I zoomed up the motorway (good job she wasn't taking my blood pressure after that!) and into school ... children were gratifyingly happy to see me. Told me how they had been so quiet that Mrs Wooding (it's alright to name her ~ she reads this) said "I've not been into such a quiet class for a long time! You should all have sticker for being well-mannered and beautifully behaved!" You can so tell that my little "darling" is off with chicken pox!
And then came dinner time ~ lunch-hall duty in the juniors ... oh joy! 3 fights later! 3 ... 3 lots of different children fighting ~ the injury list read ... 1 swollen nose, 1 soon to be black eye, 1 set of bruised knuckles, a thick lip, 1 set of bruised "privates" (I didn't offer any first aid!) and a ripped sweatshirt! For crying out loud ... *speaking directly to the KS2 boys at the school* Lads, cut the f#ck out of it!! I've had enough of writing reflection (lunchtime detention) forms and doing pissy little first aid jobs! Be bloody nice for once in your life! Roll on tomorrow when I get to do the whole joyous thing again!!
Drove home along the A2/M2 combo ... am I the only person worried that the Medway bridge has signs that say "Bridge damaged Speed limit reduced because of damaged bridge!" Where's the sign that says "Don't panic Jo, it's not so damaged that it'll collapse as you drive over it!" And what the hell damaged it anyway?
Why is Tesco full of idiots at 6.30 every night? Is it advertised somewhere ... Idiot? Come along to Tescos @ 6.30 tonight ... make lots of new friends!! Oh, right, of course ~ I'm there at 6.30 too ~ yes well, they'd be astute, intelligent, creative individuals then!
And finally home in time for delicious shepherd's pie; lovingly made by my fabulous husband ... who passed the driving test of his interview for the PO on Monday ~ HURRAH ~ but now has to have an eye test. For crying out loud ... this will be the fifth interview/test he's done ... he's only going to be a postman!! Anyway, I now have cramp from sitting with arms/legs/tongue crossed for the last 4 weeks ... it's not fair to him at all! So now it's very nearly Thursday ... my itty-bitty chunky Tuesday post took all day to write ... possibly not so itty-bitty?

A Friday joke à la Walker!

Sorry, can't wait until Friday ... made me laugh too much!

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"Anal glaucoms" splutters her boss. "What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my arse coming into work today!"

~ I on the other hand am feeling fabulous ~ whoop! :o)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

A beer and a ham sandwich please!

In response to Fizzy's comment on this post ... I had to admit that speaking other languages is all about me being in control. And being able to communicate ... I can't cope if I can't communicate :: verbally or not to other people ... in 40 years time I'll be that little old lady wandering around the supermarket talking to everyone ... enquiring what you think about the price of onions, chattering to babies in prams ... that'll be me! It'll be the rest of you too, because after all isn't that why we're here blogging? Because we love to communicate?

Anyways ... getting slightly off subject (no change there) ... the first phrase I tend to learn as an adult if I am going anywhere is "a beer and a ham sandwich please*" ... so come on, help me out ... add to my list :o)

French ~ une biere et un sandwich au jambon s'il vous plait

Welsh ~ un beint o gwrw a brechdan o gig moch os gwelwch yn dda

Spanish ~ una cerveza y un bocadillo de jamón por favor

Dutch ~ een bier en een ham te klemmen gelieve

German ~ ein Bier und ein Schinkensandwich bitte

Italian ~ una birra e un panino di prosciutto per favore

*It used to be a beer, a ham sandwich and 200 marlboros but I gave up about 5 years ago.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Blog trawling - #7 + 1

I enjoyed this so much last time, even though it was to get me out of a "I have nothing to post about fug" ~ can I beat 5 blogs, 3 countries?? So, starting with my #7 @ 7am on the 7th and adding on 1 (just to spice things up) each time ... here we go ~

#7 on my list ::
Kiwifruit; Fuzz, Fresh Daily :: the wonderful Fi ... 35, Kiwi, student (English major), book fiend, part-time jogger, amateur photographerand dedicated drinker of reasonably priced wine ... there's always excitement and a great read Chez Fi! Currently there's fireworks, poor Miss 5.1's broken wrists, netball, interesting theories about jet-lag and a brilliant link to the 42Below Vodka site ~ superb music playing and an excellent Internet advert to see! [Country #1 ~ New Zealand]

Fi's #8 :: Chasing Daisy :: hurrah, "Daisy" is Welsh ... all the best people are don't you know!! I laughed and laughed over the deleted post about Turkish Delight, CS Lewis, google searches and curly wurlies and I didn't even read the post! She's looking for a perfect clafoutis recipe ... I have one for black cherry clafaoutis Daisy!! [Country #2 ~ UK @ least I'm assuming the UK]

Daisy's #9 :: Quick Story :: Em, from Trenton NJ; jogger and divorced mother of 3. Her first story ~ animal lover ~made me cry laughing ~ I have mental pictures of her and a heavily clothed policeman sprinting after a small white dog. Priceless! Unfortunately she has recently suffered a robbery when she lost some family jewellery - life can be such a complete and utter git at times! [Country #3 ~ USA]

Em's #10 :: Light from an empty fridge :: back to the UK, so no surprise that we read about political correctness gone "as mad as the maddest mad thing possible" (what are we like?) in the Daily Express and a truly Bah Humbug Bonfire night! [Country #2 ~ UK]

LFAEF's #11 :: Venusburg :: Dan on Italian food, cinema in Soho (get your mind out of the gutter), the people at Lego getting all uppity if we call them (ie the bricks) Legos and much much more! [Country #2 ~ UK]

Dan's #12 :: Toby Kay :: testing, testing, thanks and testing. And not another thing!

So, 6 blogs, still only 3 countries ... well unless I lie and say that I know for a fact that Toby Kay is currently testing his blog in Azerbaijan. Hang on; he is, that's him at the back of the photo behind the woman guy with the moustache during the voting at the last general election!!

Yoo hoo, it's me Toby Kay at the Azerbaijani General Election!

Have a great Monday guys!