Friday, October 05, 2007

Open up and say aaagh!

I had to take a half day yesterday to take Simon to the dentist, for root canal work. This palaver of epic proportions first began last November, yep you heard me, last November when he first complained about toothache.

Me - Well go to the dentist then.

Simon - I can't.

Me - [brought up by my mother Vin, I am at this point showing not a scrap of sympathy*] What do you mean you can't? Why not?

Simon - I'm scared of the dentist.

And so he told me the story of his last dental visit 22 years ago - good grief, so long ago I hadn't even done my "O" levels and I feel like I've had them forever! Yes, 22 years ago when the dentist had removed a tooth and it was so bad** that his body went into shock and he spent a week in bed and ... his mother let him get away with this*** Knowing full well that this was a situation I wasn't going to put up I got him into a dentist that same week, to whom he retold the whole sorry tale.

Dentist - Oh I'm sorry Mr Langthorne, but we can't possibly do the work here if your body reacts like that. You'll need sedation and will have to go to a specialist clinic.

And being the procrastinator's procrastinator that he is, 4 lots of antibiotics and 11 months later that is where we found ourselves yesterday. And 25 minutes later I had to get him home. The sedation had the same effect as 14 rum and blacks on an empty stomach! I am 5' 6" ... he is 6' 2" and I had to manhandle him down the stairs of the clinic into the car and then home and into bed :o( He fell asleep in the car, couldn't work out how to get his feet up the stairs (I had to put my hands under his arse and shove to get him upstairs) and almost fell asleep again whilst leaning on the ironing board (in the spare bedroom) taking his trousers off. Good god!

This morning he looks like a chipmunk and can't remember a thing! I might take the teeth out myself if it happens again, with a lump hammer and a crow bar :o)

* As my father is so fond of pointing out sympathy comes between shit and syphilis in the dictionary ... and neither of those are any good for you either! This might me an AA saying, he's got plenty of them ;o)
** Now, and don't get me wrong but this might be "man bad" or rather "Simon hypochondria Langthorne bad" so we should probably take this with a grain or twelve of salt!
*** I don't think she has any real idea of the rod she has created for my back but I do bring this up with her as often as is humanly possible.

p.s. Simon - I am only teasing, well a little bit, well about the lump hammer :o)


Ms Mac said...

At least Simon has made me feel better about how long it is since I last visited the dentist!

The poor love. I hope he's feeling better today!

Fizzy said...

I can't get my Hubby to the dentist.
the optician (He should have been wearing glasses since childhood and still has memories of NHS specs)
The Doctors (he "can't swallow pills" and is the only 30+ that has to ask for children's medicine if he does go!)
a chiropodist (he is limping like a good un at the moment Dr FIzz has diagnosed the problem on the internet! and now has to deal with it)
A&E (the other year a flask exploded and burnt his stomach... I had to learn how to dress it as he would not go to hospital to have it seen to... and it was bad)

.:mar said...

It seems to be a "guy" thing...I go twice a year for a check up and every 7-8 months to get my teeth cleaned. I wore braces for many years as a teenager, I want to keep all my teeth!!

Andy said...

Take heart Simon, it will be easier now. I was terrified of the Dentist and didnt go for 9 years. After finally going to the Dentist last year and having a filling, this year I was totally not bothered by going back even though I ended up having another filling!! :-)

Fizzy said...

How is the paitent today?