It all started with cleveage ... mine, Leah's and maybe most specifically Sue's! I, as you may or may not have realised am packing some cleavage and as soon as I turned up at the pub on Friday I became aware that I had stumbled into a game of cleavage netball, well maybe not netball ... any object (not only a ball) was allowed and anyone's cleavage was fair game!
People had been at the pub for a while it seemed, having gone straight from work rather than disappearing home in between. After two direct hits, into mine (and I wasn't even showing what Simon would consider to be real cleavage) ~ a whistle from a cracker and a piece of an un-buttered bread* I was wishing that I had been at the pub for hours too! Anyway ... I soon noticed that the woman sitting opposite me (head of our junior department) was having no difficulties, her cleavage was repelling all boarders ... as if by magic!
So I boldly say (I know ... me bold, who'd a thunk it?) ...
Me ~ Sue, how come nobody can get anything down your cleavage?
Sue ~ that's the whole point, nothing's going down there!
Me ~ *looking puzzled* ????
Sue ~ last year the guy I got a lift with dropped his eyeballs down my top whilst I was trying to get in the car! So this year Andy (her husband) cut me some toupee tape to stick my top down.
Me ~ toupee tape? What's toupee tape and why have you got toupee tape at home anyway? Andy's not bald.
Sue ~ he was to embarrassed to go into a shop and ask for tit tape so he asked for toupee tape instead!
So guys, you'll be glad to know that eventhough there is no way that this guy looks even remotely bald he's d rather insinuate that he is than even suggest that on weekends he wears and a dress and calls himself Annabelle! Or that when his wife goes out he sticks her frock in place for her!
* come on guys, I lived (in France) with the horrors of bread crumbs in my cleavage ... you spend years practising the crumb flick to subtley remove them from said area! So the last thing I want is anymore down there!
10 comments:
LMAO that is so funny. Her Hubby stuck her top down!!! what sort of school does he think you work in LOL
OH and btw I sympathise with the bread vs cleavage thing.
*walks off chuckling*
!!!!
Isn't it all just double sided sticky?
I don't mean like carpet tape, but still generic harware store stuff........?
Don't you think that in some ways it's a good thing to have such a sizeable cleavage? I mean, if you do drop some food down there while eating dinner, least you can fish it out later for supper or somethin' like that eh?
Cleavage is all good...unless it's summertime and you're feeling all sweaty and sticky, then flat chested sounds simply marvelous! lol
And yeah, I can think of a few times I coulda certainly done with some of that there tit-tape stuff.
Fizzy ~ I know!!! I think it's the bloke who gave her a lift, a bit like a puppy!
Cheryl ~ umm, I don't know *says she with too much cleavage to contain!*
Lisa ~it's fab, just ask Simon, or Walker!
I guess it beats taking a doggy bag home with you. LOL. Maybe we can set up a club or something. What would it be called!!!! (I think that deserves several more!!!!!!!!!)
Okay, this is something my wife needs to get figured out. I am off to buy the tape...Or maybe I won't just for another few days.
If they are going to throw things at womens cleavage the least the could do is throw crumbled up money.
I don't see what the problem with a guy going into a store and asking for tit tape. I could have a field day doing that.
Now isn't that the same tape they used to help lift the boobs so they look better.
Fizz ~ how about the C.C.C. ~ Convenient Cleavage Club? Your turn!
Mr Jones ~ you gonna spend that time practising your aim?
Walker ~ crumpled money, now what a grand idea ... I'm all for that one. And the not being embarrassed about tit-tape isn't that the same as it being ok to guy and buy tampons etc for a girlfriend/wife ~ I know that the same guy who wont buy the tit tape wont do this either!
the dreaded breadcrumbs, i've lost a frog from a cracker in my cleavage before, the bloke thought it was hilarious...
and tit tape sounds like a good idea for next year...
:0)
Funny Stuff
But if anyone need the hair tape, you can go to hairtape.net
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