Monday, February 13, 2006

Gentlemen, please take note ...

The Hormone Hostage aka my husband knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide to correct speech on those aforementioned days, that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS :: What's for dinner?
SAFER :: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST :: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE :: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS : Are you wearing that?
SAFER : Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST : WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE : Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS : What are you so worked up about?
SAFER : What did I do wrong?
SAFEST : Here's fifty pounds, go and get some new shoes.
ULTRASAFE : Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS : Should you be eating that?
SAFER : You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST : Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE : Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS : What did you do all day?
SAFER : I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST : I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE : Here, have some more chocolate.

It is suggested that all the co-inhabitant at Chez le Laquet should, press print now!


Lisa said...

Hm, you appear to have posted 3 more times since I was in here earlier this morning...and they all have different dates. I'm onto you lassie! well kinda sorta, maybe not lol

I loved reading this, had a really good laugh. If I had to pick anyone in particular it would have to be "Can I get you a glass of wine with that?" lol

The boiled cake recipe looks really yum, although I think I'd enjoy doing the coconut/cherry thing more, never was keen on fruit cake. Yeah, I might have to try the coconut thing.

Bennu said...

I have seen this before and love it. I always tend to wonder what the meaning behind the words is when it comes from a man at certain times, and now I can post these all around me.

as for your question about Valentines ...
I haven't done Valentines for the wee ones yet... been sick, felt bad after being out of the house for more than an hour. Will have to get it done today. All the good stuff will be gone... Thinking pencils and a balloon or bubbles maybe... just don't know, can't do candy.

Le laquet said...

Lisa ~ No, 3 posts 2 days! But Blogger has been playing up for me and even I worry about the time zone thing .... so who knows?
I prefer the cake with coconut and cheeries too, delicious!

Bennu ~ it made me laugh so much and the chocolate thing only works for me if he's buying Lindt!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I am SO printing this out and sticking it in The PK's wallet!

Words (for him) to live by! ;)

Fizzy said...

Hehehe I like chocolate. And I wear brown

Walker said...

I have learned recentlyt how to tippy toe so could relate with many guys.

K Jones said...

Great Jo. First you top everyone at Indigo's Trivia Challenge and then you go and post this. Thanks a lot. The wife just went and got this laminated and it now sits on my pillow as a constant reminder.

Magpie said...

i love it, and its all true, i am like a demon all month


gimme chocolate

Fizzy said...

tell me what half term is like... what have I got to look forward to???

Remember last week when you were counting down the days?

ummmmmmm well 3 left

craziequeen said...


That is SO funny........ :-D


Fi said...

Hope you had a suitable amount of chocolate and wine yesterday!

PS Tried to comment earlier but kept getting a No Such Blog error ??

Lisa said...

bahaha! I'm sending that to everyone I know. Michele sent me! Congrats on being her site of the day!

Goofy Girl said...

Haha, I love the ultrasafe. Mmm chocolate!!

Michele sent me- congrats on being the site of the day!

archshrk said...

Hello, Michele sent me.
That was pretty good. I'l have to share that with my wife.

Shane said...

congrats on being site of the --- er, uh, i mean, would you like some chocolate? ;)

~michele sent me

doris said...

Ha-ha! I loved "Can I get you a glass of wine with that?" That does happen here!!!

And you got to be site of the day on Michele's! Oh wow - congrats :-)

Alisha said...

Congrats on site of the day!

Hilarious, really.

jennypenny said...

Haha what a great post! I defintely got a laugh and will be sending by all the boys I know to read carefully. Hope you had a nice day and congratulations on being the site of the day! Michele sent me.

kenju said...

Luckily for my husband, I am well beyond the stage of hormonal idiosyncracies! Michele sent me. Congrats on being her site of the day!

d.challener roe said...

This was too funny. Thanks for the survival guide.

Michele sent me.

Tania said...

LOL! I've sent my bf a link to your post, and hopefully he'll get the message. ;)

Tania said...

Oops...forgot to mention that Michele sent me!

Melody said...

*giggle giggle* You should print some of them up and they should be posted on billboards around the world!!! How funny.

I am a BIG sucker for Lindt chocolate too! Mmmmmm....

I'm here via Michele today, don't mind me as I poke around...

jeni said...

well if that ain't a handy little ditty!! i'm off to print dc a copy right now! :)

hope you had a great cupid day & CONGRATS on being site of the day @ michele's! :)

jac said...

You just gotta love that list. My old boy just keeps his mouth shut for the most part. *wink*
Michele sent me! Congratulations on being Michele's site of the day!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Congrats on being Site Of The Day!

I love this account...Indeed...tread V-E-R-Y carefully on certain days, gentleman....And I agree, Chocolate is the BEST solution to everything! (lol)

Here from Michele tonight, Of Course!

Shannon said...

I thank you, and my Hub thanks you for the guidlines...He will be much safer now.
Michele sent me

Megan said...

Perfect! But the real ultrasafe option is KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT unless you've been directly addressed. ;)

Hi - Michele sent me!

KaraMia said...

lol, love this post. here via michele today.

Anonymous said...

Hi I'm from Michele's and I have to say this was a gem of a post. I just read it out loud to my entire office, we're still chuckling.

the Intuitive Woman said...

Ahhh LOL! That was great!