Would you or wouldn't you?

Feeling much better today, little "angel" who bit/bruised/kicked me was in fact a little angel all day. Mum wouldn't make eye contact!!

More pressing problem right now - there's a big meaty spider in the bedroom ... probably come in out of the rain! As we speak he's taking his "bovver boots" off and making himself comfortable! Hmm!

Question of the day - can you go to sleep in a room if you know there's a "bigger than you like" spider in there?

Me? Cluck - I'm off to the spare room with the other chickens!!

Remind me ...

Remind me again why I like my job?
Remind me again why it is ok for a 5 yr old to knock 6 barrels of shit out of me?
Remind me again why it is ok for him to punch, pinch and bruise my arms?
Remind me again why it is ok for him to swear at me?
Remind me again why it is ok for him mum to turn up @ 3.45 (1/2 hour late) pissed and stinking of fags?
Remind me again why it is ok for her to not apologise and tell him to hurry up?
Remind me again why it is ok for to have two beautiful healthy children? And for me not to have any?

I need a drink tonight! :o(

My favourite place to ...

... eat Italian ~ there's a fantastic restaurant just around the corner from Harrods in Knightsbridge called ... umm, ah, oh god what's it called? I'll have to ring my mum and get back to you on the name. But if you're standing looking at the front of Harrods turn right and walk along the street in front of the store and then take the first turning left (at the end of the building - Hans Road I think??) and the restaurant is 100 yards down on the right! Incredible spaghetti carbonara, amazing veal with sage & masala, velvety zabaglione. [What do you know - good old Google (who by the way is celebrating his/her 7th birthday today .... Happy Birthday big G!) - the restaurant is Zia Teresa .... sometimes the Internet is a fab place to be!]

... holiday ~ last November Kent County Council and the British Council paid for me and 22 other teachers from Kent to go to Durban in South Africa ... all in the name of International Professional Development you understand. It was an incredible week - I saw things, visited places, met people that the normal tourist will never ever see and I would really love to go back as the "holiday" part of my trip was just as fantastic! I'd love to take Simon so he could see the things I described, visit the places and meet some new friends I made!

... sleep ~ my bed, super king size with a deluxe mattress. Bliss! However ... I wouldn't say no to one of these ... my friend Kev, in his new job as an accomodation inspector said "Oh my god, I'm lying on the most comfortable bed EVER!" [He was staying in a small hotel in Torquay doing an inspection ... I was GUTTED that it wasn't more Fawlty Towers :o) ]

... buy chocolate ~ Rococo in London's Kings Road. Please, please, please promise me that the next time you're in London, you'll go just to smell the shop and you'll try their organic dark chocolate with chilli.

... watch the world go by ~ it's a bit twee, but on the morning of my 23rd birthday I had coffee and pain au chocolat in a cafe on the Champs d'Elysee - the sun was shining, it was already hot at 10am. The breakfast cost an absolute fortune £15 each *coughs* 13 years ago but it was wonderful. We sat for an hour and soaked in the "where" and watched Parisians and tourists (actually probably more tourists than Parisians as they are all in Provence by mid August!) do "metro-boulot-dodo" aka the daily grind ~ see it sounds better in French doesn't it?

So, come on, you choose your ending for the sentence ~ My favourite place to ...is ...

I have developed a bit of a reputation ...

... as the teacher who gets the "willful" kids. Willful, there's a word to conjure with. Dictionary.com gives the definition of willful as ~

Said or done on purpose; deliberate.

Obstinately bent on having one's own way.

My parents will probably tell you that I was willful - an only child, a first grandchild to both sets of grandparents - my first words were probably "mine" or "no!" I was verbally precocious (what do you mean no surprise there?) who asked "why?" and "why do we need to?" with amazing regularity. I always wanted to explore ~ usually where I wasn't supposed to be and ended up in bucket after bucket of hot water. I vividly remember being made to sit on a chair on my first day of school because I had wanted to go and look in the book corner and the teacher (Mrs Quick) said it wasn't time ... she's still teaching too, the old boot & is currently nephew #3's head teacher!

Anyway back to the subject, this reputation I have developed gets me down a bit, I don't want to be the teacher that children are sent to so they get "sorted out!" That gets the "difficult children" ~ I'd rather have the reputation as someone who teaches fabulous lessons, is kind to all children, a good listener somebody who is caring ... but wait, this "reputation" that I have is stuck on me by teachers and TAs who send children into my class year after year. Maybe I should instead be talking to the children in my class about my reputation - asking them if we have fun, if their lessons are interesting? Or the children who were in my class last year or before that? What would they say about me? How would they come into school if they were worried about me sorting them out? Would they come back to "visit" on the playground for a hug or a high-five in passing in the corridors if all I ever did was sort them out? Anyway, do I really want to "sort out that obstinacy" that makes a child stay on task / persevere with an activity / find out about or do something that might be a little difficult for them? NO!

This is a bit of a garbled post but what it really boils down to is :: I guess I have to stop worrying about what other adults (staff and parents) in school think of me the teacher ~ ok, realistically there are times/people who's opinions do count BUT in all reality the only day to day opinions I care about are the little ones.

Question ~ so, does the real you match up to your reputation?

Thank you Sainsburys

I have been having a rough time with my bloggin' of late ~ new school year, new head of department, new headteacher, new kids = very, very busy = too tired to do ANYTHING. I would like to say that my consumption of alcohol and chocolate ice~cream has slipped ... but no instead it is my blogging and my perspiration blogging inspiration which is taking a hammering. Until @ the checkouts in Sainsburys on Friday night when I found an interview with Jamie Cullum in the new monthly Sainsburys magazine - I am so nicking his questions sentence starts and answering them myself! That's 16 days of simple posts right there - hurrah!

Unconscious mutterings #138

I say ... and you think ... ?

Crave :: pickled food, no I'm not pregnant, yes I wish I was normal and craved chocolate BUT give me a gherkin, sweet cucumber, Carluccio's sweet & sour aubergines or a spiced shallot anyday!

Whole package :: the whole kit and caboodle

Roommates :: friends

5:30 :: on the way home along the A2, listening to Johnnie Walker or preferably Stuart Maconie, the mystery voice competition at the moment is really, really, really hard - I was convinced it was Keira Knightley - shows what I know!

Lesbian :: woman / women

Poignant :: music

Hurtful :: bigots

You and I :: bloggers

Grateful :: Grateful Dead

Giggle :: me and my mum giggling like Muttley with asthma at any opportunity ~ there were the Spanish Irish dancer's @ Paco's Irish pub in Lloret-de-mar [we didn't really see them, or even go to the bar ... they were just in our imaginations; but that was good enough for us] and the "fallen Madonna with the big boobies" crossed with the famous Black Madonna @ Rocamadour ~ I guess you just had to be there!

Doctor, doctor!

So last Monday I went for my visit to the doctor after last week's dodgy Friday afternoon girly oojy-ma-flip fainting episode in the bathroom. She wasn't surprised to see me having had a letter from the hospital about me and we settled down for a little chat. She checked my pulse spoke about my needing blood tests à la hospital letter and then .... took my blood pressure ~ YIKES! "Mmm" she says "that's a little high!" "No shit Sherlock" thinks I! "Come back in a fortnight so we can check it again, the BMA decrees you should have 3 high blood pressure readings in a row before I can give you medication!" I don't want blood pressure medication this is a for a lifetime thing start now, never come off it! SO .. then she looks at my ankles and needless to say I now have medication - not blood pressure meds yet but low dose diuretics. LOW DOSE? These are LOW DOSE? ~ Good grief, if peeing was a national sport I could represent GB @ the next Olympics - as long as there are plenty of public loos around the stadium!

I think my blood pressure would come down much better if I was allowed to go away and do some more watercolour painting! Here's another one that I did during the summer for you to see!!

What?

Update ~ a great big thankyou to this fruity New Zealander & this bloggie superstar for their technical know-how! Cheers ladies!

Ok, so what's the difference between a visit and a page view? And how do I put a link in a comment? Just 2 little questions this morning for you all to answer!!

The things kids say #3

Last Friday .... what a hoot!

K - Lauren's picking me up tonight!

Me - no problem K! Who's Lauren?

K - my nanny.

Me - what, your grandma? You call your grandma Lauren?

K - no! Well Mummy doesn't call her my nanny.

Me - What does Mummy call her? *I was being incredibly nosey*

K - Umm? *insert theatrical thinking poses galore here* Umm?

Me - Have you forgotten?

K - Yeh, it's like banana but it's not that!

Me - *crying* K, is Lauren your aupair?

K - Yes the pear!

Unconscious mutterings #137

I say ... and you think ... ?

Less filling :: more bread? I love sandwiches - sweet & savoury together usually on white bread, steam baked if I can get it. Brie and pear, roast turkey with cranberry sauce, philadelphia cram cheese with strawberry jam!

Glue :: spreaders. I'm always asking for more of these little green sticks ... where do they go? Are there Borrowers living @ school in little houses made entirely out of my glue spreaders? Probably.

Surprise me :: with flowers or diamonds Simon!

Model :: cocaine (thank Kate Moss for that one this week!)

Fee :: "Fee fi fo fum I smell the blood of an Englishman!"

Microphone :: "testing?" - The embarassment of speaking out loud in public *blushes* I hat these things, the whole "testing 1, 2, 3" thing! No thanks, I'd really rather not!

Choices :: decision

To the bone :: Cuts to the bone

Run! :: Run! Forrest run! One of my favourite feel good films of all time - a superb idea and the whole "life is like a box of choclates" line - wonderful! And for some strange reason table tennis at speed has ALWAYS mesmerised (sp?) me!

Appeal :: plea

Why?

Dear Mr Gates,

why does Outlook Express compact my mail as I exit when I have never asked it to?

Love & kisses
Jo

The things kids say #2

On Friday afternoon, one of the little girls in my class was brought in by a "junior" after having an accident. She's a lovely little thing - tiny, with curly hair and glasses and still a little clumsy. She has this unfortunate ability to fall over all kinds of things and on Friday had run into a wall ... skinning her nose (thank goodness they're not doing photos anytime soon!) I am the senior lunch time supervisor on a Friday (school speak for only mug left on the school premises because all the others bugger off to the pub) so E was brought to me!

Me - Oh E, what happenned?

E - I knocked the wall, I was running and suddenly it was there!

Me - *stifling laughter, for a change* Oh no! We might have to have some lessons on how not to run into walls!

E - *by this point crying pitiful little sobs* Can we start soon Mrs L because it does hurt my dose so much when that happens!!

Good things come in 3s

3 names I've gone by

1. Jo - since day one by my Mum but in school I was always Joanne until a wonderful supply geography teacher in comprehensive school called me Jo at 14 and then everyone else did to!
2. Joanne, if I'm really in trouble with my mother!
3. Tuppence - by my father .... who knows why? He also calls my brother (Andrew) Fred!

3 screen names I've had so far

1. Carys_uk on Yahoo! Where I met Simon.
2. Le laquet - right here!
3. ........ just the 2 so far!

3 physical things I like about myself

1. Eyes - hazel/green
2. I have nice teeth
3. We could do the whole bosom and cleavage thing à la HNT chez Miss Coldheart (who isn't at all!)

3 physical things I don't like about myself

1. My hair - there is SO much of it and my god it hates any kind of moisture, curls galore! And it gets EVERYWHERE!
2. My rear end .... did you ever hear National Express by The Divine Comedy - "But it’s hard to get by when your arse is the size, Of a small country, And everybody sings ba ba ba da..." Well maybe it's not as big as Andorra but I'm never going to be able to ignore it!
3. My big toes, if I ever wanted to wear those sandals * that your big-toe peeps out of I can't because my big toes aren't long enough!

3 parts of my heritage

1. Welsh
2. Irish
3. Devonian

3 things I am wearing right now

1. PJs - grey and red
2. Glasses - too early for my contacts
3. Wedding ring & ear-rings

3 favourite bands/musical artists - Such a hard one to answer, just 3? They change so much, so I will say that currently I am really enjoying -

1. Trisha Yearwood
2. Counting Crows
3. Aerosmith - because I can ALWAYS listen to Steven Tyler

3 things I want in a relationship

1. Honesty
2. Laughter
3. And more honesty - everything else needs to come with that! Lovers, friends or family - I want honesty in all relationships.

3 things - 2 truths and a lie

1. I am left-handed
2. I used to paint maps for a living
3. I eat my steak blue - dripping with blood.

3 things about the preferred sex that appeal to me

1. Strong hands, with clean but not fussy nails ... I don't know why? Usually first thing I notice!
2. I like tall men
3. Voice - dark chocolatey voices!

3 favourite hobbies

1. Reading
2. Travelling
3. And of course ... blogging it all!

3 things I want to do badly right now

1. Go back to bed
2. Have a cup of tea brought up to me
3. Be able to go away for the whole weekend because I didn't have any school work (prep, marking etc) to do!

3 things that scare me

1. Spiders
2. Enclosed spaces - tunnels, caves
3. Cobwebs or any kind of hanging dust - like in haunted houses

3 of my everyday essentials

1. A phone-call to my mum
2. Music
3. Simon

3 careers that I have considered/am considering

1. Royal Navy - until I asked a career's officer why women couldn't go to sea ... and he told me they could when they got their own navy ... I left at that point! I was later hauled over the coals by my head of year (I was 15) for being rude - I don't think my mother knows this ... yet!
2. Seismologist - I had an offer of a place @ uni to study geography / geology and then I discovered men during my "A" level year!
3. Teaching in France ... I am going to send applications for the next academic year! International schools in Pau, Toulouse, Bordeaux ... attention, je viens!

3 places I want to go on vacation

1. San Francisco
2. Back to Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa
3. New Zealand - you should see the adverts they're showing on the telly in the UK at the moment.

3 things I want to do before I die

1. Have a baby.
2. Wear size 12 (UK) button fly faded Levis.
3. Paint watercolours successfully

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy

1. I can burp out loud at will - great big lumber-jackers!
2. I read on the loo - well, it's what the boys in my family do!
3. Umm ... this is hard, I shall ask my nearest and dearest and get back to you! [My mother will probably say that I swear like a boy but it should be noted that neither my dad or Simon swear!]

3 ways I am stereotypically a girl

1. I like lilac ... and spangly silver! You should see my toe nails right now!
2. I cry at the drop of a hat at "certain times of the month!" Show me a loo-roll ** commercial and I can weep!
3. I wouldn't even try to change a flat tyre - that's what the AA are for ... I have to think of my manicure!

3 celeb crushes

1. Hugh Jackman
2. Eddie Izzard ... in high heels!
3. Any of the lads from CSI

3 people I want to piss off by tagging them for a meme

1. Nah, you're all alright ... if you want it you have it!

* It's ok, because I don't want to wear them ... I'm more of a Birkenstock or Kangaroos kinda girl!

** You can download your very own Andrex puppy here and play games here!

Musicality

I am currently trying to get music on my blog - just because I can if I follow Fizzy's fab instructions. Unfortunately ..... the upload is SO SLOW I may be a while!! While you are waiting, please feel free to "stick your pin" in my guest map - it won't hurt me honest!

The things kids say #1

In class yesterday, during literacy ......

Jo - what's a vowel?

Class - umm ....... *lots of really blank looks*

Jo - come on, we've spoken about these before, have a think about it. I'm sure your last teacher must have mentioned them!

Little girl - is it like a curtain you wear over your face?

Jo - *stifling laughter* no, that's a veil!

I hope she get's it straight in her head before she gets married!

What colour are you?

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

An A to Z of my holiday!

*coughs* I started this post yesterday last week and then an end of holiday/going back to work on Tuesday "sniffle" jumped up and bit me on the arse, and was closely followed by a "girly fainting-fit" ........ so I am updating bit-by-bit *sneezes & swoons*, and some letters come with no explanations - please let that be ok with you guys .... ok? *smiles* Thanks!!

A is for arrivé - 10-or so hours driving through the night from Boulogne on lovely french motorways! *yawns*

B is for brébis - The Basque country - a region of south-western France & north-western Spain is beautiful; famous for gorgeous mountains, sheep (- you have to know how @ home that made me feel; I'm Welsh after all) pilota, and fabulous cheese amongst other things!

The cheese is eaten, in thin slices @ the end of a meal or as a snack but always with sharp black cherry jam (or sometimes as suggested by the lovely lady in the deli @ St Jean de Luz with membrillo - Spanish quince cheese) - gorgeous! We brought some back and I bought membrillo yesterday .... today's mission is to get a picture of Simon munching!!

C is for clouds - true Lotois skies are never all blue but instead full of fluffy, sheepy clouds. Perfect for giving you 5 minutes respite from the sun!

D is for Dordogne - canoeing @ Pinsac, or just paddling from the beaches!

E is for Erromardie - as well as staying Chez le laquet Simon and I went to the coast for a couple of days and stayed @ Camping Erromardie, near St Jean de Luz.

F is for fête - Here are some photos as promised!

*rest coming as soon as I can get them off the lapptop*

G is for gesiers - little bits of the inside of a duck (gizzards) and eventhough I'm not keen on offal (well tripe specifically) they are delicious in Salade Lotoise with raspberry vinaigrette and walnuts!

H is for "Having a lovely time, weather's great ... wish you were here!"

I is for ice-cream

J is for Jo's birthday - I reached the grand old age of *coughs loudly* 36 on August 14th! Hurrah!!

K is for Kevan - who got a new job whilst I was away and now needs to get a passport and go and visit Vin and Don - are you listening Kevan?

L is for lawn mower

M is for marché

N is for noix

O is for oopa (phew thanks Walker!)

P is for painting

Q is for quince

R is for Rocamadour

S is for St Jean de Luz

T is for trailer tent

U is for utilisé l'Internet en France

V is for Vin/vin

W is for weather

X is for ..........., what is X for? X is for eXtra large / eXtraordinary ..... but I can't think of anything to do with my holiday, so have some eXtra photos to mull over! *coming as soon as I can get them off the laptop*

Y is for *checks to see if you notice* barbecue (I know I'm cheating, but I had lots for b and couldn't fit it in!!)

Z is for zoological specimens everywhere

Unconscious mutterings #136

I say ... and you think ... ?

Related :: family .... eventhough I sometimes wish 1 of them (don't panic Mum I mean Andrew!) wasn't!! Little brothers eh! Who'd have them?
Soothing :: music, not dolphins, whales and rainforest sounds - they always make me want to pee! It's just that I cannot imagine life without music - @ home, in the car, whilst I'm teaching ~ everywhere!
Flashback :: acid
Turmoil :: confrontation, I hate confrontation of any kind. Mainly because I am really crap at it! I wish I was one of those hard-as-nails girlies who could do a "hard stoney stare" and put my points across in a "cold, controlled voice" - I WISH!! I start crying even when I really, really don't want to and my voice wobbles and it's pathetic! So I usually walk away ~ my friend Ruth says "write it down" - I can do written confrontations REALLY WELL!
Immense :: huge
Guitar :: John Williams, he played last night @ the proms; I was channel hopping and he was fantastic .... I wish I could find a site with clips of his music OR even better get Walker or Fizzy to explain to me how to get him playing on my blog!!
Nonsense :: verse
Blame :: Blame it on the weatherman! Mortified that this is the first thing that came to mind!! Good grief B-Witched!! All that denim. All that wholesome Irishness - I play poker every Tuesday with 3 Irish girls and they're more likely to be swigging Shiraz and taking my money than being wholesome!
Childlike :: innocence
Duff :: Up the duff! This is an English idiom ~ meaning pregnant ~ I don't know where it comes from ..... anyone know any good "this is where this idiom comes from" websites? *UPDATE* - found one.

On the bedside table waiting to be started!

Right eeeny, meeny, miny ...... mo!

Can you hear it calling me?

Listen! Very carefully! Sssh! There did you hear it?

"Jo!"

There it was again!!!

"Jo! Come to me Jo!"

That was Bluewater calling my name! Got to go! Gotta shop!

One week down!

Had a bit of a strange week in school - we started work with the children in school on Monday .... what's so strange about that I hear you ask? Well, normally we (teachers) come back on a Monday and have 1 or 2 staff training days and the children only do 3 days in their first week. I think this is a much better idea - not for me* you understand - for the children! They are so little, and by yesterday - after 6 weeks of TV and relaxation - they were so knackered and grumpy!! And it's been so hot and we've all been so busy - hell I haven't even had time to blog or blog-trawl!

Yesterday morning was nowhere near as warm as the rest of the week has been - much cooler .... children came in quite happily BUT one little chap had to be peeled off his mother and proceeded to cry (sob in fact, snail trails of snot, dry heaves - the whole kit and caboodle) for the whole of the first morning session!! Just what we all needed - I was sympathetic ... honest, lots of back rubbing, clean tissues, "what's the matter lovely?" Eventually I gave up on him learning anything in that state & sat him in a comfy chair (all cosy-wosy!) in the book corner with a teddy and a copy of Kipper (one of personal favourites!!) Peace at last!!

So the day progressed - literacy before play, numeracy after .... the all singing all dancing Jo 2.1 version was in full flow. Interactive whiteboard going like mad, singing tidy-up songs, hive-fives, gold stars - phew! Finally dinner time came around .... on Friday's I do "dinner duty" - can you imagine? 170 children, 170 lots of "go-on, 1 more bite just for me! Fruit before chocolate please! Have you washed your hands?" 2 children sent home with nasty cuts and bruises full of gravel. 1 lad talking to the head of infants after throwing slices of tomato around the hall! And, suddenly, the bell was going for the end of lunch and it was back to class for an art / design technology afternoon!

I did the register, quickly nipped to the loo and hit the bathroom floor! It had suddenly got hotter, very humid in fact. I hadn't had lunch, not even taken 5 minutes for a drink and it all got a little much! I wobbled to the nearest classroom (grey faced and clammy) and was quickly hustled outside to a shady bench with ice-packs and cold drinks and a sick bucket - which I mortified myself by using in front of everyone! And was home in bed asleep by 3.20!

Genius - no! Tit in a trance - umm, yes probably! Embarrassed - hell, yes! I have a doctor's appointment on Monday - I will get this sorted .... blood pressure checks, blood tests etc needed I think! This weekend sleep needed too! I'm off back to bed for a while!

*[I can hear the shouts of methinks she doth protest too much winging around the globe as you read!!]

What's in a name?

*UPDATE* - I just realised this is my 200th post - whoop! Now if I could just recover my "oomph" ..... we'd (the royal we of course) be sorted!

Stolen from the lovely Katya whilst she wasn't looking because she was camping in Anglesey!

Your porn star name - Name of first pet / Street you live on :: Thumper Woodlands ...Thumper Woodlands??? Good grief, Thumper - yes well!

Your movie star name - Name of your favourite snack food / Grandfather's first name :: Pepperami Edward, a bit of an animal - move over Rambo!!

Your fashion designer name - 1st word you see on your left / Favourite restaurant :: Charley le Tahiti - LOL!

Exotic foreigner alias - Favourite spice / Last foreign vacation spot :: Vanilla Basque, maybe it should be sad 90s kinky lingerie wearing rapper name instead

Socialite alias - Silliest childhood nickname / Town where you first partied :: Tuppence Mumbles

Fly girl / boy alias - a la J. Lo - 1st intial / 1st 2 or 3 letters of your last name :: J. La

Icon alias - Something sweet within sight / Any liquid in your kitchen :: Pineapple Flash

Detective alias - Favourite baby animal / Where you went to high school :: Puppy Penyrheol , as noted by Maria - some of these just don't work if you're from Wales!!

Barfly alias - Last snack food you ate / Your favourite alcoholic drink :: Cookie Shiraz - my favourite by far!

Soap Opera alias - Middle name / Street where you first lived :: Elizabeth Tynybonau

Rock star alias - Favourite candy / Last name of favourite musician :: Loveheart Henley

Your Star Wars name - I deviate slightly from Katya here - 1st 3 letters of your surname plus the 1st 3 letters of your surname, 1st 3 letters of your mother's maiden name plus the 1st 3 letters of the town you were born in :: Lanjoa Evaswa

Brilliant website!

Me - Oh I know this fantastic website for that. Where's your PC? I'll show you!

Me - Damn, what's the URL? It's in my favourites @ home!

Sound familiar to you? Happens to me ALL the time - especially during the long summer holidays in France!

As part of the staff development day I did on Friday I showed everyone a web-site that I have used for ages called I keep bookmarks. This is "a web-based bookmark manager" - so it's like an online favourites folder. No more "what's the URL"? Easy!

Unconscious mutterings #135

I say ... and you think ... ?

Julie :: Mahoney - a friend from Virginia
Emotional :: tired, crabby, me!
Head of household :: Me? Simon? Us?
Diva :: Chaka Khan
Devastation :: Katrina
Business or pleasure :: customs
Crown :: court
Eastern :: Fry's Turkish Delight - Full of Eastern Promise
Buzzed :: bee
Officer :: Krupke

A little stressed?

I ran an IT staff development day yesterday ..... all the usual things - nerves, tears, the shakes - and that was just me!! I had a load of websites to share with the staff but these stressbusters are my personal favourites - music, teddies and fish! Enjoy!

Do I know you?

Just because it's a new term .............

A bloke is in a queue at the Super Market when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children !"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Christ!" he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"

"No!" she replies, "I'm your sons' English Teacher!"

I'm going to introduce myself to all the parents really carefully on Monday!

Happy New Year!

School starts today - happy? No fear! How did nearly 6 weeks of holidays go so quickly? Have a good day guys .... I'm about to hit the daily grind with force!!

In other news - Kev has a new job, which he starts today!! MUCHLY CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND!!! You'll be fab, you deserve it - the idiots you used to work for have no idea what they've lost xxx