Knobbly knees and 2 piddle assemblies!

Just another day in primary academia yesterday, nothing exciting happened! We started the day with an assembly and as year 2 were doing some practice writing for SATs, our assembly was all about Goldilocks and the three bears. I sat quietly in my classroom (5 foot away) and listened as the assistant head regaled 210 little children with the exploits of the blonde housebreaker and her flight from the ferocious bears. I was marking literacy books but it sounded fantastic through the door, I heard gasps, little voices acting out the porridge discovery and the furniture breakage. I giggled as I heard the cries of "help mummy" and the round of applause as Goldilocks made her way hurriedly through the woods home!

My class trooped back and settled on the carpet with one of my TAs to complete their fine motor skills practise and I rushed to grab a sheet I'd left in the staffroom and there in the hall was the true response of the children to CJ's assembly ... in the same way that the Visit Britain gives accomodation a star rating, here was a rating unsurpassed by any other I'd seen! The assembly was so scary that two, yes two children in the reception (kindergarten) class had peed themselves and they'd gone to the loo on the way to assembly too! Officially a two piddle assembly! What would anyone have to do to better that?


And then, hours later, when wetness had disappeared afternoon play came ... and with it the saga of the school railings ... what is it with small children major limbs / body parts and school railings? Why do they feel the need to lodge a limb between the pieces of metal? And why do I have to be the teacher on duty when it happens? Yes, you've got it ... 5 minutes into afternoon play Goldilocks aka Blond bimbette in year 1 popped one knobbly knee through the railings ... stuck, good and proper like!

Thank god for CJ once again, a bucket of cold water* , a handful of washing up liquid, major grappling, more wet knickers** and a snotty nose*** & the nobbly knee was free! I'll give you one thing about this job ... its never dull!

* my thoughts had already lead to hunky firemen and cutting equipment, stripped down to the bare essentials ... it was a warm afternoon dont'cha know!
** she peed herself in fright
*** mine, I laughed so much I cried until my nose ran!