Sunday, March 19, 2006

Gonna be a bear!

In this life I’m a woman. I've pretty much made the decison that in my next life I’d like to come back as a bear. Bears have it good, you'll see ~ when you’re a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing for six months. I could do that!

*yawn* I just need a little snooze

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could do that too!

What?  Do you have chocolate?

You eat in the river! You get an endless supply of fresh sashimi and there’s no washing up to do. I could do that!

Here fishie, fishie, fishie!

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts at the time) while you’re sleeping and wake up to cute, partially grown, furry little bear cubs. I could definitely do that!

I love you Mama!

If you’re mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs, if the cubs get out of line you swat them too. I could do that!

You call my little Barnaby fat again and I'll whop your hairy arse

If you’re a bear your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. I could live up to those expectations!

Hey I have a J Lo bootie, you see it?

Yep, gonna be a bear!

10 comments:

Fizzy said...

I think that being in charge of Barnaby Bear has sent you a little too far over the edge!!! Just a little too far!!

However I can understand your arguments... especially walnuts and expectations.

lol HAve a good day

rashbre said...

It is not unknown to find oneself waking up like a bear with a sore head. Thanks for dropping by.
rashbre

Bennu said...

I am SO THERE.... I agree, what a great idea...

K Jones said...

It is comforting to know that you've found your calling. I can see you as a Panda Bear sitting high in a tree eating bamboo shoots. Or can I?

Fi said...

Good plan, Jo!

Here was I thinking I should come back as a dog, but I think the 6 months of sleeping may have swung me over to a bear ;)

Walker said...

Ummmm may I point out a few facts before you talk to the great reincarnator.
1. while you hibernate you pee and you know what yourself
2. Humans shoot at you so the could eat you and not in the pleasant sense of the word
3. people are trying to kill you just so they could take out your liver to dry it up and sell it for a ruduculous amount of money because it is suppoosed to help a humans sex drive.
4.Bears really smell BAD!!!!!
5. you spend a lot of time at the garbage dump eating garbage.
6. Humans shoot you in the butt with a big dart to knock you out and then tag you ear so that if someone shoots you they know how far you traveled to that place.
7. You will NEVER eat chocolate again.

Lisa said...

I read somewhere that pigs have 30 minutes orgasms. (And then I just read now after googling it, that pigs have 6 minute orgasms, so who the hell knows? lol) How they know this is beyond me, but I'm not leaving anything to chance, so I'm still tossing up which animal I'd like to be, the pig or the bear lol

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You know, I always wanted to come back as a bird...but now, I think you've made me change my mind! :)

Britmum said...

What a super wonderful idea. I wouldn't mind being a cute bear cub.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL LOL LOL. Love this! And the pictures are soooo very dear!