Why me?

In school yesterday …

“Mrs L, why is wee-wee yellow and poo brown?”

See, these are the questions in school I hate! What do you say to that? This is a 4 year old who asked the question … very bright but nevertheless only 4! So no way am I being drawn into a full discussion of the body’s food system, intestines, bowels and kidneys. In fact I don’t even think I know why wee-wee is yellow and poo is brown.

Me ~ Umm! It’s tidy up time. Off you go!

Yeh, I know, I’m a chicken!

Unconscious mutterings #195

I say ... and you think ... ?

Costume :: Halloween
Beg :: Please? Pretty please?

Hottie :: The lovely Mr Hugh Jackman
Celebrity :: Celebrity Squares
Saturday :: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday ...
Buckle :: One, two, buckle my shoe.
Doorbell :: Ding, dong.
Rude :: Ignorant
Absence :: Makes the heart grow fonder.
Hyper :: Thank god for Ritalin, the wonder drug.

A moving weekend ....

So, on Friday I went to Brighton to move the new age travellers* to Seaford. On Friday I packed and packed and drove to Seaford and unpacked and unpacked TWICE! We were all fed up ... so, on Friday night, in the spirit of entente cordiale they made friends with someone they hadn't spoken to in ages; we ate Mum's stuffed vine leaves and Tesco's garlic and lemon olives and I got completely and utterly WASTED! Fab! I haven't felt like that for aeons. I slept like a baby ... well one who wakes at 3.20 desperate to pee and then can't go back to sleep beacuse she's too warm and reads until 5.40! But you knew what I meant!

So, today was going to be the easy day. We'd packed. We'd moved and unpacked small boxes. And at 12 o'clock Allan and his van were coming for the big stuff. Wrong! What do you do if the van driver justs fails to show on moving day? You hire someone for tomorrow, quarrek with your OH and give in to the call of the red wine monster .... and that was just me and I'm not moving :o)

I had to drive home tonight ~ bleugh, busy roads. Good luck for tomorrow my lovelies!

* I type this in the full knowledge after a weekend spent with them both that at some point they have both read the blog ... Mrs Longthong!

Drum roll please!

This is my 500th post! Who'd have thought that I who HATES writing anything ... shopping lists, birthday cards, cheques ... would manage to write 500 things. Not that any of them are real writing ... except I do like Battle Scars. More than anything I am always amazed at the really kooky posts that get huge amounts of hits! No comments but vastly increased traffic!

Anyway, off to Brighton for the weekend to help with the moving ... the phone call I enjoyed last night suggests that it will only be a temporary move ~ no shocks there then! So here's to the next 500 and wherever you are, whoever you're with, have a great weekend!

You plonker!

Guess what plonker wiped out her blog template in one little click this morning? And guess what plonker hadn't kept a copy of said template as suggested by Aunty Fizzy? And guess which plonker has spent the last 2 hours redoing her template? BUT guess what plonker now has made a copy of said template and saved it on a CD? Just in case of another natural disaster you understand!

Thirteen Things that need to be removed from my kitchen counter today!

1. Simon's wallet ... why can't men have handbags? That way he wouldn't come in from work and just dump his shit there! Men in France carry handbags without having their masculinity slammed.
2. Simon's keys ... ditto the wallet!
3. Simon's mobile phone ... ditto the wallet. Are we seeing a pattern here?
4. 3 tea-towels. We have hooks! And why are there 3 tea-towels on the go when we have a dishwasher? Is tea-towel the same word the world over?
5. Cooking oil
6. Soy sauce
7. Suzi Wan dipping sauce for nem ~ has to bought in bulk in France!
8. Chopping board ... pure laziness on my part, as it can't go in the dishwasher and is to big just to be put in the sink.
9. Receipt from Staples
10. This month's Golf World magazine
11. My bank statement
12. Holiday brochure
13. Birthday card for nephew #4

A little bit of this and that.

I hate insurance companies ~ So yesterday I went into school and had the phone call I've been dreading. About 5 weeks ago my camera was stolen from school ... you might have noticed no new photos around, of mine any rate!

We'd been taking photos in the nursery (as evidence for the foundation stage profile) and my lovely new TA had snapped some kiddies outside doing something or other. She came back in and put the camera back in the box of tricks where it had been.

Unbeknownst to her, the family sitting in our hall ... we'd invited the mum in to spend the morning to help her little one get used to being in the nursery* ... were the local equivalent of the Krays. And older brother, who'd accompanied Mum and littlie wasn't actually in school
because he was on long term school exclusion for violence and disruption! Needless to say the camera disappeared never to be seen again!

I put signs up in the window asking if anyone had taken the camera home by accident, please to return it ... and the headteacher rang the school's insurance company. Yesterday the phone-call came back from the insurance company!! Because it wasn't a break-in, because we'd invited the thieves into school ... they were willing to pay out the grand sum of nada, rien, nichts, τίποτα, niente, nothing, nowt! So last night I had to admit the theft to Simon ... boy am I popular right now! Stoney silent treatment was invented for this man!

* On his first morning, he hit the other nursery teacher across the face with a toy car whilst screaming "f*$% off, you f*£%ing c*&t " at her. As I'm sure you can imagine, his nursery place has been withdrawn!

-------------------------------

Wipers ~ Who'd have thought that my car was so clever? On the way home from work yesterday, when I was at a standstill in traffic, the wipers slowed to save power. Which is fab! But I actually wanted to be able to see the lights change ahead.

------------------------------

Moving ~ Must remember the boxes! Must remember the boxes! Kev moves this weekend, hurrah! But why is he moving out of a ground floor flat into a second floor flat? STAIRS AGAIN!!

------------------------------

Rain ~ If anyone tells me there's a drought in the UK at anytime over the next year I shall so call them a liar to their face. It hasn't stopped raining here since yesterday lunchtime! It is currently hammering on the window and the radio station has just announced local flooding. I take it they've cancelled the hosepipe / car washing ban then?

Unconscious mutterings #194

I say ... and you think ... ?

Stuff :: everywhere
Block :: JT Blocks ... only a little addiction!
Ingredient :: cook
Flagrant :: disregard for personal property
Dandruff :: Head & Shoulders
Betty :: Boop
Tide :: high tide
Judges :: currently scandalous in the UK, the judges and their lover the cleaner!
Take it easy :: I'd like to stand on that corner but I want it to be the best looking cowboy you ever saw driving past. Well actually, I'd like him to stop :o)

"Well, I’m a standing on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see
It’s a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford
Slowin’ down to take a look at me!"

Chef :: Gordon Ramsay

Ah Saturday!

It's Saturday, no school today so what you gonna do?

Unfortunately as it has been a very busy week, the list is almost endless ....

Washing, drying and perhaps some ironing.
Yesterday morning I had a minor accident with rice I was dyeing for school, so I need to get the Hoover out! I have already brushed it up, but the odd grain is still lurking!
School record keeping.
School ID badges to re-create :o)
Shopping ... Simon's currying tonight!
Clean the bathroom.
Re-treat my hair after last weeks little visitors ... as a belt & braces, just in case exercise!
Order this CD because there's been a song playing in my head driving me slowly mad all week long!
Come up with 3 more questions for next week's Q.o.T.D. ~ I panic if I haven't got 3 ready! I've posted this morning, so please feel free to pop on over and answer :o)

So ... best get busy!

If you're not wearing Tena Lady turn away from the computer now!

I have just been sent an email by my favourite lady sleuth. Just like any other self-respecting celebrity couple, to celebrate their wedding, Peter Andre and Jordan recorded a wedding song, choosing a Whole New World as their personal ditty. If you haven't heard their efforts (before they were cleaned up by computer) and you want a really good laugh, turn up the volume on your speakers and click on the above link! Please let it be noted that I did warn you :o)

p.s. The wedding photo might actually give you a clue to the quality of the singing!!!!

Thursday Thirteen!

I was so excited this week when I found Mr Powell et al, all living together in Llantwit Major that I posted a snippet of the 1841 census, showing my g-g-g grandfather and at the bottom of the family aged only 6 months *collective aww* my g-g grandmother Ciscel.

Cheryl was heard to comment "Five kids?!"

That's nothing Cheryl for this weeks Thursday Thirteen, I present my gran Gwyneth and her 12 siblings!

Ciscel, a girl, born 1880
Mary, born 1882
Catherine (Kitty), born 1884
George, born 1886
Margaret (Maggie), born 1889
Sarah, born 1891
Ivor, born 1895
William H, born 1895
Ewart, born 1896
Devro, a boy, born 1898
Mathew (Bow), born 1900
David (Dai), born 1902
Gwyneth, born 1904

Can you imagine the washing? Can you imagine the cooking? Can you imagine the last one in the bath water on a Sunday night?

Somewhere in the past I remember the Thegn of Sussex commenting that his wife had Gibbon in her family tree, in South Wales somewhere! Beware Cheryl ... this lot's mum was a Gibbon!

Wordless this Wednesday .... I've been noisy too long!

The official Wordless Wednesday site is here.

A very exciting moment thanks to the 1841 census

See that John Powell there? The 35 year old shoemaker! I've just found him. He's my great great great grandfather, born in 1806. He stayed in the same house until 1861 (lovely chap!) And I bet he made fab shoes! I'd have worn them :o)

A fizzing meme

So, in the absence of anything of interest to write about Fizzy made up a meme. And then a crazie royal nominated me for the job ... how lucky am I? I will get revenge! Watch your backs* ladies :o)

1 piece of information about me that you really should never know.
Umm ... I don't know how much I want to embarrass myself as I know my mother and SIL read this. I think nothing of going commando ... how's that?

2 colours that I would never ever ever wear.
Grey or gray (depending on which side of the Atlantic you live!) and puce.

3 things that I love to eat.
As usual I say the words "only 3 things?" How about 3 beginning with a and then 3 with b? Avocado, asparagus and anchovies. Bulgar wheat, brownies and blueberries. I'll stop now!

4 things that I would never ever serve to a guest at my dinner table.
Tripe, lychees, marzipan and kumquats. Neither together or apart.

5 things that I keep forgeting to buy from the supermarket.
Pledge soapy wash for wood (living room floor), bouquet garni (though I prefer Julian's), a dishwasher cleaner, bin bags for the pedal bin in the bathroom and new toothbrushes (though things are not desperate yet).

6 things about Autumn that I love.
Cold crisp mornings, driving home in the late evening misty sunshine, the smell of woodsmoke (more in France than here), puddles + wellies, shiny berries on trees and then of course there's the leaves!

7 things that I value about my family.
My husband's love and his long arms to get to the top corners of the kitchen cupboards, my father's sense of humour, my mother's support, my brother's protection (he doesn't say it often so I know that when he does he really means it!), my nephews' kisses and my nana's memories.

8 things that I like to watch on the TV.
Oh ... I like Spooks, Afterlife, Grey's Anatomy, the X factor, ANTM, House, a Question of Sport and the Antiques Roadshow.

9 things I loved about school.
Learning, friends, French, Mr Hughes and geography, swimming, holidays, handstands on the school field when I was 10 and playtime. Playtime being on my list is probably why I am a teacher ~ because kids should love being inside the school too!

10 of the little things that I love about life.
Travelling, music, dinner with friends, laughter, new shoes, blowing kisses, Friday takeaways, walks on the beach, sitting on the verandah at Laquet absorbing the view and teaching.

I have to say nice one Fizz-a-wallah ... not too taxing at all!

* I know this gives you a crick in the neck but so be it!

How do you know he loves you?

When you arrive on the doorstep and he opens the door and he says "hi, how was your day?" And you respond ...

Me ~ Do you remember how much you love me?

Simon ~ *long drawn out* Yes! *scared look on his face* Why? What have you done?

Me ~ I have headlice and we need to go upstairs to the bathroom and treat our hair with the lotion!

Simon ~ Me as well?

Me ~ Yes!

Simon ~ Ah, the joys of living with a nursery teacher!

We're now sitting here waiting for the lotion to cook ... it takes 2 hours and then we get to wash it off!?! Now I need to go and ring my mother-in-law* who I saw on Saturday and warn her :o) Aren't you glad you're not me!

* Balls! Just realised I better include sis-in-law and brother-in-law too!! And Kev ... boy I'll be popular!

Weekend

Yesterday was a truly delightful day, I walked on the beach in Seaford and had a fantastic meal (rice with chicken and a spicy soup followed by Layali Libnan ~ Lebanese Nights) cooked by Ahmed's mum. Just so nice to spend time with people you love :o) There appear to have been tonnes and tonnes of stones dumped on the beach, ready to be washed away in the storms to come this winter. In more exciting news, Kev is moving to Seaford the weekend at the end of half term ... and as usual, he does lead that kind of existence*, I will be going down to help him move, again! I'm certainly looking forward to spending more time on that beach.

Ahmed and his mum are on their way up north now, to see his sisters and nephews ... I, on the other hand, am looking forward to leftovers from last night's dinner today!!

* Only kidding, actually ~ he's going to kill me for that one!

Unconscious mutterings #193

I say ... and you think ... ?

Weeks :: 1 until a holiday ~ hurrah!
Cough :: "Cough it up love" ... said by my ex-deputy head whenever I stuttered slightly! NO pressure there then, I'm already stuttering and now you want me to hurry!!
Jail :: Jailhouse Rock
Produced :: music producer
? :: What? When? Why? Where? Who?
Stapler :: Staple gun
Next :: Next Directory
Perky :: Along with his mate Pinky
Oxygen :: necessary
Musical :: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ... I want to go and see it!!

Homeopathy

I try as much as possible not to go to the doctor. Mine is far too fond of doling out anti-biotics* and blaming everything on my weight ... from eczema to a stiff left shoulder. So ... and yes I know there are now people out there screaming "well it probably is your weight" ... I try to avoid the doctor as much as possible. And instead I visit a homeopath called Morag.

It's not only the lack of anti-biotics that draw me to her, it's the way that homeopathy works. She really listens to what I actually say. She's not focused on getting me out of there quickly so that she can move on to the next patient. She listens to my symptoms and ties them together to treat them. She brings my emotions an feelings into the equation. She treats the whole me.

Anyway after a visit yesterday I came away with very red eyes (a good cry is always cathartic**), 7 little paper bags of tablets and a lighter step. I'd had a good chat about what ails me, let go of some tears that have been building under the new pressure of work over the last term and really talked. I slept really well last night & I feel relieved this morning. My husband labels all of this as hocus-pocus. Watch out Simon! I'm going to let her treat him if he's not careful ... "bring up the sulphur enema for my man please, Morag!"

*And finding a new doctor or a dentist in the South East of England is like finding a needle in a haystack.
** I mean in an emotionally purging way and not in the same way as a strong laxative would be cathartic :o) Otherwise that makes me sound very strange indeed and whilst I admit to a little odd ... I'm not willing to go any further.

Brittany

Today over at Indigo's Daily Trivia Game, I so wanted to answer Brittany Spears to the question "Who got stuck in a giant whale's stomach? I was of course much better behaved than that!

In other news I won in poker last night* ... and admitted to one of my fellow players that I have a blog. I think she might come a-hunting :o)

* I am a whole £2.60 better off ... what should I do with the cash? Decisions, decisions.

Stolen ... well I have been on the straight and narrow for a while now!

And whilst we're at it, if I have permission to steal it, does that make it a theft? Stolen with permission from the lovely AEWIAML, who in turn choose to steal it from the Peanut Queen ... see at leasy I didn't steal from royalty. You end up in the tower if you do that!

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Actually, one of my nursery nurses, who keeps saying things like "we used to blah, blah, blah and the that worked really well. Maybe you should try that next time." So tell me before I f&*k up then! Not after the fact you cowbag.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Chris Rea. Because he just stands there when he performs and there's no animation, not even on his face. Not a twitch of a toe. Not a wobble of a shoulder. Nothing! Nada! Rien! And maybe Chris de Burgh to, just for Lady in Red.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Actually and I don't say this lightly, Sharon Osborne, for choosing the awful Dione over Jonathan in the X factor on Saturday. What do you mean sad addict?

4. What is your favorite cheese? Either St Agur or Cabecou ... can't decide between the 2 of them. Or perhaps a Ossau-Iraty from the Basque region ~ delicious :o)

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make? I have simple sandwich tastes, a really good BLT with a little low fat mayo; juicy tomatoes sprinkled with Maldon salt, crispy lettuce, smoky sweetcure bacon ... on artisan bread!

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. Hugh Jackman of course, did you really need to ask?

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? Well obviously neither of the Chris monsters because, well just because you wouldn't! Seal please.

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Can we make it £100 please? Lunch with Ruth, Kev and Su.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? New Zealand, via Fiji.

10. Upon arrival at the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Buy a couple of bottles of wine to share with a Kiwi or two!

Unconscious mutterings #192

I say ... and you think ... ?

Opinion :: opinionated
Tardy :: late for school
Peer pressure :: slim teenagers in trampy clothes
Grown up :: never
! :: Mynyffrny! or Putain ... because nobody around here understands enough Welsh/French for me to get into bother! In a past life I always used to say f%*k a duck but can you imagine the complaints I'd get?
Beer :: Bitter please or Singha at a push.
Sit :: Down quietly.
Shower :: Every morning ~ or otherwise I'm not awake!
Consumate :: Professional
Wasting :: Away

There's a duck muttering ...

... actually more a case of quacking at me because I haven't muttered unconsciously this morning. But I will when I can* and until then here's 10 words for you to mutter incoherently about this morning :o(

My husband ::
Gardening ::
Lopping ::
Branches ::
Tree ::
Danger ::
Ambulance ::
Hospital ::
Mother-in-law ::
Visit ::

SOOOOO, you see what horros could happen if I was to let my free-associating imagination imagination run riot. I need to go and "oversee!"

* Luna is obviously having a lie-in and who can blame her it is Sunday after all.

Saturday morning

So, much less moany this morning. Gave myself a good talking to and a bit of a shake! The good news is that my paperwork was in on time & in first! A huge step for me ... I'm a right at the last minute kinda of girl ~ you should see my Myers Briggs typing. The boss gave me a gold star and the "long may this continue" chat :o)

Should be off to Brighton for lunch with Kev today and to ... no wait, I can't tell you because it concerns my mother's Christmas present and she sneakily reads this here blog ~ without commenting I might add. Sneaks in like the highly trained SAS operative that she is, reads & disappears only to throw what I have written back in my face in time for our nightly phone call ... and boy will I get it for that one! He he he!

Anyway, instead of my trip, a heavy cold is keeping me in the warm, with a pile of record keeping and an endless supply of hot tea ... which on the whole and with Charmed on UK Living all afternoon doesn't sound too bad. Wherever you are & whoever you're with ~ you have a good one!

A list of things I really needed to get done this week! Please excuse me, this is a bit of a moan.

Good grief it's been busy. Unlike my MIL who thought (and said out loud btw) "oh nursery? It'll be so nice to have a less busy job out of education for a while." I knew nursery was going to be tough. I knew some things (the marking obviously) would be lighter but there would be a much heavier workload in other areas (wiping noses, keeping those little butterfly minds in one place, painting, sand and water.)

But I had no idea how much bloody paperwork there'd be! How much planning, because of course other people have to be able to follow it and see where it's going. And how much record keeping and assessment. And of course in my management role ~ pshaw! ~ there's even more bloody paperwork.

So here's my list of all those things I really should have got done by today ~ bleugh! I think I'll go back to bed

1. Additional Educaltional Needs audit and IEPs
2. Target setting for nursery kids (please they're 3 & 1/2!)
3. 2 reports for different doctors about children in class, whom we're applying for extra funding for ... Cheryl will tell you how long it'll be before we actually get it!
4. Planning for next week
5. IT section of the School Development plan
6. IT extra funding bid ... hope this comes through.
7. Staff email list updated
8. Data tracking folders for all staff members updated (for reading, writing & maths)
9. Data entry calendar sent out ... to warn all staff about the dates for the whole year.
10. Data to check for the deputy head.

And then there's the life I am supposed to have ... and a husband to see ~ right!

Come on over and answer a question!

So, as you know I go over daily to Indigo's Q.O.T.D. to battle with Haloscan. I suddenly realised this week that if I answer my questions at lunchtime in work ... picture me, sarnie and a cup-a-soup banging away at the keyboard in the ICT suite, crumbs flying into the keyboard ... Haloscan just lets me ~ finally!!! Hurrah!

But also this week, I was asked to join the Q.O.T.D. team, cue even bigger hurrah! So come on over and answer my question, which is ....

The first person in my address book is my good friend Ahmad, so tell us, who's first in your address book ... be it old fashioned paper or on the PC?

You couldn't make stuff like this up ....

LMAO! Didn't they read it before they sent it to the sign makers?

Out of the mouths of babes

Our last little gaggle of three year olds started last Wednesday. The tiny little ones. Including 2 screamers ~ luckily 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon ... I don't know what we'd have done if they'd been in the same session :o)

Anyway one of them a little girl Lauren was so very brave on Wednesday, after the first initial screams (as I wrestled her away from Mum and Dad) we went to the book corner and had a bit of a read and she calmed right down. However the rest of the morning was spent repeating the same script

Lauren ~ Mummy coming for me soon.

Me ~ Yes, darling, she'll be here soon.

Lauren ~ *big brave smile* Coming in a minute?

Me ~ Yes that's right in a minute.

At 11.30 she leapt off the steps into her dad's arms and happily went off chattering to them / herself. When Thursday morning came around Lauren was wise to my wrestling techniques and I had to pry her off Mum like a limpet. Dad rang mid-morning (obviously worried about his little darling) and we had a long chat. I comforted this man-mountain (6' 4" and probably 25 stone +) and he left his mobile phone number so we could ring if she got too upset. And at 11.30 he arrived on his own and she leapt again to shouts of "my daddy."

And then on Thursday night tragedy struck. Lauren's daddy was killed in a car crash on the way home from work. What do you say? 34 years old, 2 young children. Gone.

Yesterday morning at snack time I noticed rain clouds rolling in and pointed them out to the children.

Me ~ Gosh look at those huge rain clouds. I think we'll need our wellies and brollies on the way home don't you?

Lauren ~ Mummy says my daddy's up there. Watching me. He can see me all the time.

Me ~ *through tears* Yes darlin' he can.

Questions, there's always questions!

I love Indigo's site Question of the Day but as some of you may, or may not know ... halsocan has a problem with me; or rather my PC has a problem with it. Not all haloscan you understand; just some :o( Anyway, Indi, here are a couple of answers just to let you know that I'm not just in it for the quizzing glory ... good luck with avoiding the oatmeal choc chip cookies and btw, what kind of topic is ????

City
What is the largest city you've ever visited?
Probably London ... but it's not my favourite, I love Dublin ~ so friendy eventhough someone tried to steal Ruth's purse out of her handbag.

How Many ???
How many bottles of beer are on the wall?
It's early in the morning after the night before ... there are no bottles of beer on the wall BUT the recycling bin looks healthy. By the way, it was ice cold Singha and it was delicious :o)

Denim blues
What is the most that you're willing to pay for a pair of jeans? What if the fit was as if they were made just for you -- would you be willing to pay a premium?
I'd pay £70 ... and I'd need them to be fabulous for that price. I know, that's not a lot but I don't actually wear jeans all that often.

Squeaky clean
This question is courtesy of DJ Tim ....
What is your all time favourite clean joke?
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Flop

Autumn
What is your favorite thing about Autumn? Or do you call it Fall?
I call it Autumn and I love cold, crisp, bronze leaf filled mornings and hazy/misty drives home in the sunshine.

Unconscious mutterings #191

I say ... and you think ... ?

Taxes :: my pay packet would be so much better if I didn't have to pay them!
Hooray :: Hooray Henry
Justification :: excuse
Shocking :: Good grief!
Bureaucracy :: bullshit that sucks
Porn :: Star
Silly :: Sausage, please remember the age of children I work with :o)
DJ :: Hey Mr DJ put a record on, I want to dance with my baby!

Swing :: Swing when you're winning
Anti- :: Antidisestablishmentarianism