My best post ever, gone for good!

Yeh I know I'm always complaing about Wanadoo dial-up but I've just lost a huge post about my holiday complete with pictures that I had finally* managed to upload ... gone for good ... and it might have been my best ever post ever ever! Grrr! Only might mind**! It was full of intrigue, blood, guts and glory ... well ice, snow, French plumber's birthday celebrations and blocked drains ~ I promise to do my best to recreate it as soon as I get back to the deliciousness of my very own Broadband!

* after much grunting, swearing (in a large variety of European languages), kicking and screaming
** there's Welsh for you!

Anyways to change the subject completely I just wanted to say to all of you, just in case I don't get the chance to do hand to hand combat with french dial-up + Blogger again today ...

... here's to much love, health and happiness throughout 2006! Wherever you are, whenever and with whomever you are celebrating I wish you a very Happy New Year! Joyeuse fêtes! Ac un Blwyddyn Newydd Dda i bob!
Love and best wishes ~ Jo xx

I made it!

How Jedi are you? :: by Lawrie Malen

Unconscious mutterings #151

I say ... and you think ...?

Virus :: Aunty Norton usually keeps me safe
Poop :: deck
Smart :: arse
Agent :: Provocateur
Wrap :: up warm before you go out -10 here right now!
Brass :: Brass monkeys or is it brass monkies? I don't know *blushes* but it certainly is today ~ i.e. blinking cold!
Waste of time :: packing presents, because Simon is going to rip paper to shreds in a little while!
Suspicious :: minds
360 :: degrees
Dummy :: run

So, nearly packed ... and raring to go!

Right, off to the ferry and the joys of French dial-up once again. Dear Mr France Telecom ... there's this little French village that's crying out for Broadband ~ I can draw a map for you if you like!!

What's in my fridge?

Shamelessly stolen (but I know she wont mind) from Fi ... here's my 10 things that can be found in my fridge at any given time list!

Milk ~ semi-skimmed
Champagne ~ instant celebration, bought in France (not the expensive stuff that is my favourite) and always kept there just in case.
Cranberry juice ... keep your mother happy by keeping your waterworks happy!
Pesto ~ red or green ... love it!
Garlic ~ minced / crushed / in a tube, I can't make it through the day without it!
Salsa ~ just a dip away from a party if put together with the champagne, well not actually with the champagne!
Greek yoghurt ~ delicious ... remind me to give you my instant "peach, choc and greek yoghurt" dessert recipe!
Olivio ~ you know, the "I'm so much better for you because I'm made with olive oil" stuff you put on bread!
Cheese ~ just out of sight under the eggs, viciously strong cheddar, something blue, young fresh pecorino & fresh parmesan (to go with the pesto and pasta) normally.
Actimel ~ 'cause I like friendly bacteria!

Present time

It was that day again ... I am off to take photos of presents for you to see. I just have to share with you what Jo bought me. I am known in school for never finishing a cuppa, so she got me one of these!

CHORTLE! ~ Thanks Mrs R, I love it!

Yawn!

Wow, I'm tired. It's Thursday and I'm awake and I officially only have 1 more get-up to do before the end of term ... HURRAH! Today is making hats and wearing them to the Christmas party day and Santa is coming along and bringing the class a present!

I know jigsaws are not very exciting and that most of the boys in the class want games for a playstation BUT I wanted something that would be vaguely useful in an educational way. This started off a whole discussion in the staff room about the toys we had as children.

I distinctly remember the Christmas that I received both Tiny Tears and Teeny Tiny Tears which according to Karen made me well off as her parents could afford one or the other. It looks like I was officially spoilt :o( My brother always said I was a brat and it looks like I was ... however, seeing as it came from him, I still don't believe a word of it deep down where it should count.

The same year as Tiny Tears and her sister came along he got the At At Walker from the Empire Strike Back ... it was the boy's toy of the year and a nightmare to get hold of. People queued around the corner outside toy stores and there were fist fights over the boxes in the Debenham's toy department where we lived in Swansea. Luckily my Mum's Aunty Mabel worked in said department and Mum got the last one available! And he calls me a brat!

So, Question of the day ... in an Indigo kind of way ... as a child, what's the most memorable present you ever received?

Here and now meme

Currently reading? :: Chris Manby's Ready or Not ... it's ok, not as good as her others but it's taking my mind of glitter and nativities!

Next book to read? :: I don't have one on my list at the moment, anyone got any recommendations? Other than a dictionary so I can spell recommendations first time without having to sound it out!

Last film seen? :: HP and the Goblet of Fire, not my favourite book but I thought the film was a fab version of it! Excellent under water scenes .... @ 12A in the UK, I didn't think it was suitable for littlies!

Next film to see? :: I want to see King Kong.

Yesterday’s dinner? :: Homemade spicy fish cakes with mushy peas ~ I'll be pleasant to be around today! [I always add a tsp each of malt vinegar and mint jelly to mine just before serving.]

Today’s dinner? :: Umm, poker tonight so probably just munchies alongside the cards!

Tomorrow’s dinner? :: Spaghetti bolognaise prepare by the lovely Simon whilst I'm at my governing body meeting.

Most recent purchase? :: Christmas is coming so I've been trying to get bits and pieces sorted out but I'm failing miserably as usual. Bought my dad a shirt from the Cotton Traders shop on Sunday, so there's just another 15 presents or so to buy as he's the only one I've managed!

What is in your diary for the next few days? :: It's a funny (peculiar not ha ha ha!), long old week in work ~ Christmas week in a primary school, can't you remember it? We're making cards, decorations, stained glass windows and calendars. We're performing our Christmas nativity 3 times (twice today, once tomorrow); then there's poker tonight, Christmas lunch and governor's meeting on Wednesday, party on Thursday complete with visit from the big man himself and finally on Friday the salvation army are coming in to give a carol concert ... it's a tradition on the last day of term. We have to put the nursery children right at the back as the brass instruments are too loud and it makes them cry.

We also have a teacher who I know I cannot let myself make eye contact with or be anywhere near once the Sally Army starts! The ladies who come along with them have tambourines / timbrels with ribbons attached that they bang and shake and fling around in the air. The kids love it and I think .... it's lovely for the children! So a couple of years ago, they're chucking their timbrels (see above but imagine uniforms) around and shaking the ribbons and said teacher Andy, creeps up behind me and whispers in my ear "yeh, that's fine, but I bet she can't keep the tassles on her nipples going in the same direction at the same time!" Since then, he justs stands across the hall from me and smirks and I loose it and have to take my dirty minded laughter elsewhere or have a pretend coughing fit.

What about you? Go on pick a question, any question, one from above to answer or another here and now one to ask!

Tales of tit-tape, toupees and tomfoolery!

It all started with cleveage ... mine, Leah's and maybe most specifically Sue's! I, as you may or may not have realised am packing some cleavage and as soon as I turned up at the pub on Friday I became aware that I had stumbled into a game of cleavage netball, well maybe not netball ... any object (not only a ball) was allowed and anyone's cleavage was fair game!

People had been at the pub for a while it seemed, having gone straight from work rather than disappearing home in between. After two direct hits, into mine (and I wasn't even showing what Simon would consider to be real cleavage) ~ a whistle from a cracker and a piece of an un-buttered bread* I was wishing that I had been at the pub for hours too! Anyway ... I soon noticed that the woman sitting opposite me (head of our junior department) was having no difficulties, her cleavage was repelling all boarders ... as if by magic!

So I boldly say (I know ... me bold, who'd a thunk it?) ...

Me ~ Sue, how come nobody can get anything down your cleavage?

Sue ~ that's the whole point, nothing's going down there!

Me ~ *looking puzzled* ????

Sue ~ last year the guy I got a lift with dropped his eyeballs down my top whilst I was trying to get in the car! So this year Andy (her husband) cut me some toupee tape to stick my top down.

Me ~ toupee tape? What's toupee tape and why have you got toupee tape at home anyway? Andy's not bald.

Sue ~ he was to embarrassed to go into a shop and ask for tit tape so he asked for toupee tape instead!

So guys, you'll be glad to know that eventhough there is no way that this guy looks even remotely bald he's d rather insinuate that he is than even suggest that on weekends he wears and a dress and calls himself Annabelle! Or that when his wife goes out he sticks her frock in place for her!

* come on guys, I lived (in France) with the horrors of bread crumbs in my cleavage ... you spend years practising the crumb flick to subtley remove them from said area! So the last thing I want is anymore down there!

Ok, I know I'm in trouble ....

... tit tape and toupees post coming Aunty Lisa and Sister Fizzy ~ honest! It's just that an "over-haul" is coming and I need to know how to put a picture into my blog header like the supremely clever Sister Fizzy did ... *Yorkshire accent being employed* so are y'awake up north?

Unconscious mutterings #149

I think ... and you say ... ?

Stalker :: obsessed
Outrageous :: over the top
Carrying :: the can for somebody else
Spirited :: a whole group of us on Friday night.
Oh! :: Oh no! A favourite phrase in a well known reading scheme for children's books.
Grid :: locked!
Country :: music
Karen :: Carpenter
Candles :: on a wick & a prayer ~ one of my favourites!
Relationship :: working at it.

Update ~ rampaged Kent!

A bum fetish Lisa? ... umm, well ... no; hands are what does it for me! But they do seem to have come up in conversation a lot recently!

The pub is now "in-recovery" and I am officially blogging drunkenly a la Sister Fizzy. But I am tired and need sleep so, drunken tales of tit-tape and toupees will have to wait!

Evidence of global warming?

What is it with little knickers? No, stop,I understand them .... I see the point .... but I don't want to see them ~ hoiked up at the back above the top of your jeans so the whole world knows your wearing a g-string. They're not sexy like that ... are they? Are they? *puts on teacher head* And they're not appropriate at 3.15 as you release the thongs throngs of little darlings across the playground .... because then K (her of wobbling clothes fame) yells (and I mean yells) .....

K ~ Oi, Jessica I can see your Mum's knickers!! They're right up her bum!

*shakes head* Thank god I am only her teacher!!

Right, got to go, going out on the "end of term is coming soon ~ hurrah!" razz tonight .... watch out Kent, drunken teachers on the rampage. I will try to avoid the temptation to come back and blog drunkenly ... that was try! :o)

Random Jo facts

Tagged by Fi... 5 random facts about me ... here goes. Wait ~ I couldn't finish my second 100 things, so there's no way I can manage 5 random facts. So this is 5 random facts about me / yesterday / things that happened to me yesterday!

Random fact #1 ~ I get woken up most mornings by pins and needles in my hands ... the beginnings of carple tunnel syndrome? No, I sleep with my hand pinned under my head/pillow.

Random fact #2 ~ I still get excited when the postman brings me letters in the name Langthorne *blushes* I'm not going to get soppy here honest! Yesterday I had 3 lovely letters ... a Christmas card all the way from Ontario, a gorgeous calendar from NZ which makes me want to go and visit all the more and a tax rebate of £54 ~ hurrah! So thanks you and un grand merci bien to you and thanks Mr Taxman!

Random fact #3 ~ I hate driving at night, especially in any king of modidifed road set up. Last night I got to have dinner with Kev as he was assessing a pub in Faversham ... just down the road and this was a fab excuse to get together. We went to one of my favourite pubs ... I'll take you there when you come to visit ... a little chunk of "quintessentially English" with fab beer (if you're not driving home!) The drive back was a killer as the A2 / M2 is currently cone city and also has a huge stretch of that high cement road edging. Whenever I am driving at night I can feel the car edging towards it and the concentration invloved with avoiding it gives me a headache ~ last night by the time I eventually got back here I was knackered with stiff shoulders and a horrible headache ... but dinner was fab!

Random fact #4 ~ [it should be noted I'm struggling with 2 to go] umm, wait, I know ... actually this might gross some of you out ~ lol! I don't believe that certain food can / should only be eaten at certain times, for example my mother thinks that you should only eat breakfast food at breakfast time ... I however eat sushi, tamago or sashimi for breakfast each morning. She shakes her head and looks at me pityingly and then leaves the room as she says I gross her out! I had tamago and California rolls yesterday morning.

Random fact #5 ~ a bit of a cop-out, but very random this final one. I have a ganglion smack in the middle of the cheek of my bum ~ my doctor suggests I hit it every day with a large book to get rid of it (she asked if I have something really heavy ... I neglected to mention we own one of these that weighs a ton) ... strangely, Simon has offered to help!

Right off to get ready for school ... please feel free to help yourself to this ~ have a great Thursday or Friday if you're nearly there!

Some easy ones to start you off!

Joining the staff and establishing targets

Click the thumbnails

Your task if you choose to accept it ...

... is to find the ducks!

As you'll know if you read this, I recently got to spend an excellent hot chocolatey evening in the railways station at Doncaster (like spies) ... what you don't know is I got a present when I got there!!

SO, in the best Mission Impossible style (befitting railway station secret agents like me and 00Fizz) ... your task if you choose to accept it, is to find the ducks ~ this blog will self destruct in 10, 9, 8 ... BANG!

Unconscious mutterings #148

I think ... and you say ...?

Amazing :: Grace
Delights :: of the flesh *wiggles eyebrows*
Inspired :: to paint
Disgusted :: by hate!
You :: and me, me and you, lots and lots for us to do ... don't you remember the really annoying theme tune! Cosmo and Dibs and educational stuff and no fighting so it was fine with my mum ... unlike Grange Hill but that's another story!
Vagina :: Monologues ... saw it, umm ... wasn't as funny as I thought it would be!
Palm :: tree
Sweetheart :: aww, don't cry sweetheart, I'll get the first aid kit and we'll wipe your knees!
Guilt :: comes easily to me, I need some backbone ... can I borrow some off somebody?
More to come :: me and this blog, to infinity and beyond me thinks!

p.s. Remember this? Well last night I got "that's different" ~ I am so not re-installing Husband 1.0

FAO Technical Support

Dear Tech Support

Earlier on this year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in any Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Motor Sport 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Only joking Simon!!

What is wrong with you?

Overheard on the playground yesterday morning!

Mother #1 ~ It's December tomorrow and I haven't even thought about what I'm going to get his (I assume she meant her OH) mother for Christmas!

Mother #2 ~ Yes, I need to write my Christmas dinner shopping list I'm really behind schedule already!


Overhead under Jo's breath

Jo ~ WTF????? GET A LIFE!

The things kids say #7

K ~ And Mary and Joseph got to Bethlehem and 'ventually (I've been working on "when did that happen" words) they found a place to stay. And Mary had her special baby Jesus and she wrapped him in wobbling clothes and ...

Me ~ Swaddling clothes!

K ~ *huffs* You've got to let me finish the story Mrs L! Yeh, wobbling clothes and she put him in the bowl bed.

Me ~ Bowl bed?

K ~ Yeh the cattle's bowl.

A Christmas spirit list

In response to Fizzy's post about the love that should be associated (and not the January credit card bills) with giving gifts at Christmas. Gifts that are "truly love" in packages; so, I thought about the things that I would like ...

p.s. I forgot to mention, I'd like things to be "hunky-dory" with my brother rather than moody and silent and did I mention I'm going to be in France and not Gillingham ... so please don't forget me!

So go-on what would "truly love" present would you give this Christmas time?
Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Hope today brings you ...

... everything you could wish for Fizzy!! Thinking of you today :o)

Guilty pleasures!

As seen on the back page of Closer, answered cheesily (Do you have a strange celebrity crush? I've only got one crush and that's Roddy. ~ PLEASE!! Have you not met George or Patrick or even Nick in your celebrity life?) by the very pregnant Penny Lancaster ....

If you're on your own what do you secretly watch on the telly? Re-runs of the Waltons!

What can't you help snacking on, eventhough you know you shouldn't? Nuts ~ you name it pistachios (or spicios if you're a princess), cashews, almonds, brazils, cobnuts (when they're green) and #1 choice ... give it up ladies and gentlemen for macadamias!!

Do you have a strange celebrity crush? I DON'T GET IT EITHER and why am I admitting to you lot??

What's your grubbiest habit? I pick / bite the skin around my fingernails ... people have been trying to cure me for years!

Where's the tackiest place you've been on holiday and loved? Ipsos, Corfu .... came back with a "nightlife" tan!!

What's the most shameful CD in your collection? Loved George!

What item in your wardrobe would really shock the fashion police? I have a pair of cycling shorts hidden at the back that I paint in ... foul!

What's the cheesiest film you own? Grease II ~ "I want a coo-oo-oo-ool rider!"

What did you buy in your last spending spree? New knickers, 3 tops for work, some nail varnish remover and a photo frame.

What's your most humiliating experience?

So many experiences, so little time to type them before I go to work ... let me leave you with this picture; aged 16 ... summer time ~ June or July, beautiful cotton skirt ~ one of those big swirly ones. I got off the bus from town with my friends Vanessa and a gust of wind blew the skirt over my head ... I was outside a pub and the beer garden was packed with men!

So come-on, share with me ... tell me one of your guilty pleasures!

UPDATE :: And just for ms.mac, Magpie and Kiwi ....

Unconscious mutterings #147

I say ... and you think ...?

Stuffed :: Christmas dinner ... coming soon!
Armstrong :: Lance
Bruise :: knock
Content :: with my lot in life!
Musical :: chairs
Assistance :: helping
Scrambling :: eggs
Battle :: of Hastings
Extended :: holidays ~ yes please!
Discount :: store

Thank god for that!

... because Steve in work (from Queensland) has been giving me hell all week long!

Bizarre?

.. no bazaar! Santa, tombolas, raffles. Cold, snow, tired! See you tomorrow!

I got one Fizzy!!!

Comment moderation word ~ a real word!! Uakari ... I thought it looked possible and it's a real word!!

Uakari ~ medium-sized tree-dwelling monkey of the Amazon basin; only New World monkey with a short tail

Off to Google a picture now!!

Métro-boulot-dodo

... the daily grind, wake up, go to work, come home, eat, go back to bed! It's only NOvember and already I see a pattern forming. I hate the winter and it's not really started (November on my children's calendar officially being autumn) I know the winter clothes / cold weather and my "let's kick the shit out my teacher and classmates" child from hell* aren't helping! And I suppose actually at the moment he is the real reason for my "bleugh" feeling and this post.

Yesterday, a large percentage of the senior management team (3 adults all earning upwards of £40,000** a year) spent the afternoon pacifying my little piglet. 3 adults for one little boy, 1 afternoons worth of that £120,000 (I'm far enough along the autisitic spectrum to know that's about £500) ... what an incredible waste of resource. Why didn't they just call his mother in to collect him? After all he was kicking shit out of everything / everybody in sight!

All day long he was foul to everyone, he swore, screamed, kicked, punch, spat and generally wrecked my room; and trust me by 1.20 I really had had enough! By the time I eventually got home (after an hour and a half of governing body chit chat) ~ 7.45 ... I just slumped on the sofa, allowed brandy and coke to be poured down my neck and shovelled food into my mouth! So thanks ladies, for taking him for the afternoon (we all really needed the break) but answer me this ... why do we have to accept this child into our classroom?

And the joy of it is ... in an hour I get to drive back up the motorway and start all over again!!

* Yes, I know I am talking about someone's "little darling, precious poppet" BUT I have 25 other poppets to take into consideration.
** Just for Lisa, because I know this makes her chuckle ~ €58,332 or US$68,912 or CAD$80,804 or NZD$99,208 or even AUD$93,296

The things kids say #6

We have just started the Christmas story in RE ... I know it's quite early but we finish school on the 16th of December (hurrah!) and I like to do it in bits ... you know building up the "excitement" ... for the parents to deal with!!

So, I started with Gabriel's visit, told them about the special baby, marriage to Joseph and going to Bethlehem for the census / taxation. Simple ... eh? Think again!

Me ~ *checking to see if she had met her learning intenetion* So why did Mary and Joseph go to Bethlehem?
B ~ To be counted, but I don't think I would have travelled that far if I was pregnant!

Me ~ So how did Mary know she was going to have a "special" baby?
D ~ 'cause it's in the bible isn't it! He was gonna be famous that Jesus!

J ~ Why did they have to go all the way to Bethlehem to be counted? There were only two of them! Look *pokes picture in bible* one, two! *rolls eyes at me* Those Romans weren't good at counting where they?

K ~ So Mary was pregnant and she wasn't married?
Me ~ That's right!
K ~ Neither was my aunty Susan and my nana called her a slapper!
Me ~ *gulp*

For your information ... I am not going to apply for the RE co-ordinator's job!

Unconscious mutterings #146

I say ... and you think ... ?

Heads up :: so tails must be down.
Kicker :: Rugby ... another kicking yesterday! Well done SA!
Aggressive :: angry
Getting ugly :: plastic surgery ~ trust me I don't mean "Getting ugly? Get plastic surgery!" I'm more along the lines of "You've had a lot of plastic surgery ... it's getting ugly!"
To be continued :: Grrrr! This makes me so cross, leaving you dangling on the very edge of your seat! Aaagh!
Twist :: and shout
Form :: another form to fill in.
On the road :: got a book, water, music and sweeties?!?
Import :: CDs
Flowers :: lilies please darling, you know the ones I love *flutters eyelashes*

I'm not in for the rest of the day ...

I am off to see the new HP film ... hurrah! And then after we are going to have lunch out in a new wholefood restaurant because one of the group is a veggie! Just to state the point right now "I will not eat tofu!"

*UPDATE* Film is wow! Fantastic special effects ~ loved it! It's long and I wouldn't take little ones to see it ... it does have a 12A rating and there were tiny tots there (you know 4/5/6 years old!) But if you get a chance ... go on, go on, go on! In other news ... the veggie caved in and we went to TGI Friday's, so I got to eat shrimp - yahoo!

Thursday ... blogged!

As you'll know if you read below ... no I meant down there about 3 posts ago ... on Thursday I went to Doncaster and in my "ever hopeful way" I mentioned to the blogosphere and a couple of specific people that I would be there!! Well I can now happily report that I spent a fab "2 hot chocolates, can't shut us up" evening with Fizzy in the Pumpkin Cafe at Doncaster station.

Surroundings ... warm and cosy, but I really don't think it would have mattered. I felt like I've known her for years! AND I have to hold my hand up in a "guilty as charged way" about her voice because we "jawed and jawed and jawed" (so if it wasn't fast disappearing before hand it had by the time she caught her train back to Leeds) and I had a fantastic time and then I smiled and chuckled all the way back to the hotel because I know that I had made a really good friend ... so thankyou Fizzy and thankyou Blogger!! "It were brill!" And I can happily report that we will be getting together again as Simon and I will be calling in on our way up to Northumberland to see my BIL.

p.s. I got a present ... look out for them this week in posts.
p.p.s Went to an incredible school on Friday ... I need to share some of the pictures (see below) as I was totally blown away ... I want to work at this school!!

click on a thumbnail for a larger image

p.p.p.s. Lisa, that's ok ... I knew it was the jealousy talking! Or should I say "Ne, ne, ne, ne ne!!"
p.p.p. bugger it, you know what I mean ~ did I mention we laughed and laughed and then laughed more!

Graphically meme'd

Borrowed from Cheryl, her husband played first ... a picture meme

This is how you play :: do a Google image search of the following and post the first (or favorite if you want to cheat, but label it so) result for each::

The name of the town where you were born
The name of the town where you live now
Your name
Your grandmother’s name (just pick one)
Your favorite food
Your favorite drink
Your favorite song
Your favorite smell

or

It should be noted this is not an early HNT ... neither of these is me :o)

Oh this one was hard ... so many songs ... ok, this one

Don't ask ... I don't know what they're doing in the custard (I just googled Vanilla) ... yes I would have enjoyed it way back when!

Google

My search engine of choice is Google and I have to say I love their different holiday logos; some of my favourites have included :-

St Paddy's day 2005




Earth Day 2004

Birthday of Gaston Julia (I don't know what he did BUT I love the G in Google ... actually I could just Google him ... could I not?)


La fete de la Musique from 2002

But I have to say I love the current one ... by Lisa Waiwaiina aged 11 ... as part of the Doodle 4 Google competition.

I feel the need to do my own *walks off to find pencils and paper* What about you? What's your favourite?

*update* The utterly fabulous ms.mac found me this!

Thankyou so much Stella-Bella!

In case you were interested!

Last Friday we made poppies and learnt about WW1 and the battlefields of France. We've added our lovely writing since the photo was taken!


... today we were doing the 2 times table! With mittens (not gloves ... because that would have been the 5x table!)

An image for every occasion me! Or else I've been so desperate to finish displays I HAD to show them to you?!? What do you reckon?

I'm off on a jolly!

The headteacher called me to one side yesterday to ask if I would do something for her;

HT ~ Jo, how would you feel about going to Doncaster?

Me ~ Doncaster? *madly thinking where the hell is Doncaster* Why?

HT ~ There's a wonderful school there that I want you to go and see!

Me ~ *shit, she wants me to go and see another school, she thinks I'm crap, she's sending me 211 miles to see a school, she must think I'm really, really bad ... how has she seen through my disguise? ... she only just got here, oh god, I'm finished!* Why do you want me to go to Doncaster?

HT ~ I know you won't panic about going up there and you'll come back with some really good ideas to share with the rest of the team, ideas about how we can change.

Me ~ oh, *phew* ok! Yes, sure, I can do that!

So, fellow bloggers ... I'm off on a jolly. I am travelling to Doncaster on Thursday, staying in a hotel and coming back on Friday after seeing this super school! Now, what I want to know is Fizzy and Magpie ... will I be close enough to wave?

An update to "Wahey, it's Saturday!"

My visit to "spend quality time with my best friend in Brighton" was fab ... good food, good company ... it (Brighton that is) even went as far as to provide good weather! I have loads of wonderful photos to show you ... well, I would have loads of wornderful photos if I had remembered to take the camera with me!!

I arrived at Kev's and was told to be very quiet as Ahmed was asleep ... Me & quiet? Not a match made in heaven, unless there's an alternative heaven where everything is noisy and lots of fun! Ahmed works in a hotel as a night bar-man (to fund his MBA) and had kicked the last wedding guests off to bed at 6am ... so, I crept into the kitchen!! Kev had shopped and then cooked "with bells on." Meze ... I love being able to graze; we had houmous (home-made), pita, home "flavoured" olives and peppers, salad and piquant red peppers stuffed with feta and herbs! WOW! And we talked and ate; ate and talked! Fab! And then we had our main course ... mushrooms stuffed with red pesto and mozzerella, rosti and roasted vegetables with a balsmic and tomato reduction. Damn me and my inability to take a camera with me when I go out. Actually damn me and my inability to invent a taste-a-meter then you all could share!!

Since Ahmed was still asleep, Kev and I visited the Devil's Dyke a deux ... damn me and my NO, I'm not doing that again .... look at these pictures instead. They have their own site here - you need to register BUT it's worth it!! You can even see Winnie the Pooh's wood from there!! A quick detour past Tesco's (for vanilla crowns for Ahmed) and Kev and I were back home for 4 o'clock. Time for tea ~ Ahmed woke for baked bananas with chocolate sauce ~ strange that :o) don't you think!!!

The fab news is that Kev has been given his "new area" (new job) AND ... he's going to be working here, near me ALL of the time! So I will get to see more of two of my favourite men ... let's hope one of them will remember to remind me to carry my camera more often!

Men and women ... the differences!

Sent to me as an email (I chuckled and chuckled) by the wonderful Keri ... how many ring true with you?

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. Actually I play poker with "tart" and "slapper!"
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and no-one will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. No need, I'm very good at mental maths but I only ever split the bill equally; can't cope with the "I didn't have a starter but I had a side of green beans" conversations!

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. *blushes guiltily*

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom :: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Isn't this an international law, honoured (and rigourously enforced) by the Geneva Convention?

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. Some women kick cats too!

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. No, never worried ... Simon was the worrier!
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. I am still looking ... the current "Mr Collins" knows this fact!

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. I did?

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. "Simon, they've written about you on the Internet!"

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night. This woman believes some of the men out there should belooking in a mirror more carefully!!

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. "Dad, they've written about you on the Internet!"

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

What a woman says :: C'mon ... This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah,blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.

So come on; ladies / gentlemen ... comments please!

To work ...

... or not to work? Decisions, decisions ... backgammon it is then!

Fancy a game?

Unconscious mutterings #145

I say ... and you think ... ?

Mighty :: Mouse
Gotta find time to ... :: have my hair cut, it's supposed to be every 6 weeks ... which I don't think is really necessary. I last had my hair cut in July ... 16+ weeks is leaving it a little too long!!
Statistic :: Vital statistics ... let's not even bother asking ... let's just realise that even if I was skinny (as ms.mac says "it's the points baby!") I'd still be more "hour~glass Marilyn" than anything else!!

Midnight :: Cowboy, love the film, love the song, cry at the end etc.
Thaw :: melt
Hips :: Elvis
Reader :: me, pry the book out of my hand! Go on try!
Related :: family
Brilliant :: Little Britain ... I cry!
Posture :: Winnie the Pooh ~ I think I probably need to explain this a little later on!!