Pinched/nicked/stolen of course!

My uncle: I dont have any - both of my parents are only children but I have plent of honoraries, so ...... My uncle: Dil has a wonderful garden and always smells like vanilla pipe tobacco!!
Never in my life: have I shoplifted, ok I know - nothing to be proud of but there was a list of things that I thought "normal people haven't done" in my head and I suddenly realised I'd done lots of them - you probably don't need to hear anymore it being Sunday and I all, but just as a teaser ............ when I spoke to Frank Zapper in Kev's bathroom I/the drugs really did think he was there and coming soon ..... "The day I accidently nearly hung myself on my house key!"
When I was five: I was probably already too gobby for life and remember being made to sit in the library corner for "ages" because I'd chosen to go there without asking permission from the class teacher! Probably partly the reason that I am the teacher I am today & one of the reasons that the closest my class ever get to a threat of punishment - is "Stop! Or I'll paint you yellow and hang you in a tree like a banana!"
High School was: over in 1987 and a long distant memory, except for 6 form when they "nicked" our geography teacher's Skoda and parked it in the middle of the lawn ..... well who drove a Skoda then?
I will never forget: walking downstairs and turning the television on to hear that Diana had died in Paris. My mum always said she remembered exactly what she was doing and where she was when she heard that JFK had been shot and I didn't understand that until then! I remember being so upset I couldn't speak to tell them (my parents) what was wrong on the TV.
I once met: Michael Barrymore outside the theatre in Bristol - tosser!
There's this girl I know who: is lovely, but needs to remember we like her for who she is - she doesn't need to be someone else!!
Once, at a bar: I won a "best lips to kiss competition" - the heats were fun & fiercly fought!!
By noon I'm usually: enjoying an hour away from teaching!
Last night: I stayed at Simone and Steve's and shared a curry/bottle with 'Mone as steve is away in Manchester and that's what friends are for!
If I only had: left school at 16 and trained as a chef instead of doing "A" levels!
Next time I go to church: will be when someone else is baptised/married/buried!
What worries me most: "twats with too much power, writing cheques their ego/intellects can't cash" ...... are you listening George/Tony?
When I turn my head left, I see: the window, a towel, Jemima (a doll my parents bought me for my first Christmas) and a bottle of nail varnish remover.
When I turn my head right, I see: metal containers on the wall holding pens, a soapstone elephant, my address book and a tube of germolene.
What I miss most about the eighties: Duran Duran and Frankie .... what do you mean Frankie who?
If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Kate in Kiss me Kate/ Katerina from 10 things I hate about you or rather, if you want to be pedantic - Katherine from "The taming of the shrew!"
By this time next year: I'd like to have secured a deputy headship somewhere!
I have a hard time understanding: racism! Why? Colour/creed/nationality - we're all the same under our skin!
If I ever go back to school: it'll be tomorrow morning - but I still find joy in learning and teaching children new and exciting things!
You know I like you if: I'm slightly cheeky/saucy/sarky with you!! If I'm polite - I hate your guts!!
My ideal breakfast is: after 10.30am and consists of fried tomatoes, pig & cow, eggs and carbs - swimming in German tomato sauce!!
A song I love, but do not have is: one by Carole King .... I'm off to find it on Amazon, I'll be back!!
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: the beaches of the Gower, laverbread and cockles, Joe's ice-cream (go on ask a local!) and staying at Fairyhill - because about 5 generations ago it belonged to us and now the food is to die for!!
If you spend the night at my house: you're on the sofa bed in the spare room but you'll be welcomed with friendship & good food/plentiful wine & fab conversation .... and of course it'll be blogged!!
I'd stop my wedding for: I didn't because I love him - and whilst he doesn't deserve me (chortle!) he might one day if he improves!!
The world could do without: George & Tony - yes! And I don't mean these guys because their food is fab!!
My favorite blonde is: Marilyn - need I say more?
If I do anything well, it's: je parle Français et l'année dernière quelqu'un m'a demandé si j'étais de Marseille ou Avignon!! Et je suis Galloise! Est-ce que c'est bon ?
And by the way: my thumbs are double jointed!
My 10 favorite TV shows and favorite characters from them (not in order): I don't think I can come up with 10 but .... I love(d) Edmund and Baldrick (particularly) in Blackadder II, Geraldine and Alice (and come to think of it everyone) in Vicar of Dibley, Grisham in C.S.I., Phoebe in Charmed, Father Ted in Father Ted, Sgt. Phil Esterhaus in Hill Street Blues.
The last book you bought is: Love Rules by Freya North
The last book you read: Girl Meets Ape by Chris Manby - pinched from my mother, perfectly enjoyable!
Five books you would take to a deserted island: Angela's Ashes - Frank McCourt, The Eight - Kathryn, anything by David (& Leigh) Eddings, ditto Wilbur Smith - it's the whole African thing!

Stolen, without permission ("That's what stole means Jo!" *blushing* Oh yes!) from Sara - feel free to help yourself!! :o)